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Oliver01 Posted 12 years ago
Grammar

Does the highlighted sentence make sense ?

Previous research has found that males and females have differential neural responses to dental phobia. According to the few studies that have been conducted on the subject, dental phobia is equally distributed between males and females (Scheinle, Scharmuller, Leutgeb, Schafer & Stark, 2013; Sartory, Heinen, Pundt & Johren, 2006). Associated brain areas with dental phobia have also been discovered by xx. In their study Insula, amygdala and motor area (ref 20) were found to be associated with arousal activity during phobia provoking stimulus. During an experiment performed by Schienle, Scharmuller, Leutgeb, Schafer and Stark (2013) sex-specific neural responses were observed that are indicators of differential brain activation and anatomy in patients with dental phobia. During symptom provocation, more substantial activity of the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (DLPFC) was observed in males compared to females (Schienle, Scharmuller, Leutgeb, Schafer & Stark, 2013). This part of the brain is associated with voluntary attention and cognitive regulation of emotions (Ochsner et al. 2004).
  

Top answer

Oliver01 : Does the highlighted sentence make sense ? During an experiment ... It does, though it probably makes more sense to those who are familiar with the subject matter, of course.

  • Oliver01 : Does the highlighted sentence make sense ?
  • During an experiment ...
  • It does, though it probably makes more sense to those who are familiar with the subject matter, of course.
  • CJ
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4 Answers
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Oliver01: Does the highlighted sentence make sense ? During an experiment ...
It does, though it probably makes more sense to those who are familiar with the subject matter, of course.

CJ
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Any suggestions on how can I make it easier to understand for the reader.
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Oliver01Any suggestions on how can I make it easier to understand for the reader.
Not really. It's obviously written for a specialized audience, and I assume they will understand all the special terminology.

CJ
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Oliver01Any suggestions on how can I make it easier to understand for the reader.
How about this?—

During an experiment, Schienle, et al (2013) observed ***-specific neural responses that are indicators of differential brain activation and anatomy in patients with dental phobia.

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