Does "spoiled rotten" always have to have a negative connotation?

Question

I wished someone's child happy birthday in an email...something along the lines of: "Happy Birthday for Monday. XXXXX (the child's name) will be spoiled rotten! Have a great day!". Nothing else was mentioned in the email, and the person took it in a negative way. My intention wasn't to say that the child is a spoiled brat, because I don't know the child personally.

So does "spoiled rotten" always have to have a negative connotation? Just because a child may possibly be spoiled rotten on a birthday, does that imply that the child is actually a spoiled brat in life? No, I don't think so...Why make that assumption and jump to conclusions?

Khoff · Accepted Answer

I think most people would be offended!    It certainly suggests that either the child is a brat or the parents are routinely overindulgent, or both.  "Spoiled" and "rotten" are both words with extremely negative connotations -- it's not "jumping to conclusions" to be offended by them.

Anonymous · Answer

Sure, I can definitely understand where the parents are coming from, but I certainly did not mean any harm...I did not set out to intentionally harm them. I am made out to be some evil person.

Okay, so if I had to do it over again, and there was a magic button, how would you word it? I suppose you would say don't use "spoiled rotten" at all, given that it seems that "spoiled rotten" seems to be viewed in a negative light.

Obviously I didn't view "spoiled rotten" as necessarily being bad. I mean a person can be spoiled rotten on a particular occasion such as a birthday, but does that mean being spoiled rotten must also translate across to a person's character / personality?...

It seems I've got it all wrong...My bad...

Avangi · Answer

"Cute" sayings like that are often ambivalent. The way your email would be taken would depend on the characters of you and the parents, and the relationship between you.
I'm sure some people would take it as you intended it.

Ironically, if you had known them better, you might not have said it.
And if they had known you better, they wouldn't have been offended.

It's also possible that the expression is not part of their "family tradition," and they were forced to take it literally.

And as you have said, there's a difference between "being spoiled rotten" (what you are),
and "being spoiled rotten" (what's being done to you on a particular occasion).

We often have this argument in grammar discussions: "to be" plus adjective vs. passive voice.
(Two different interpretations of the exact same sentence.)
You are blessed. (Somebody is just blessing you?)

Anonymous · Answer

Avangi"Cute" sayings like that are often ambivalent. The way your email would be taken would depend on the characters of you and the parents, and the relationship between you.I'm sure some people would take it as you intended it.

Thanks for the reply

Yes, exactly what I thought...

I'm not exactly close to the parents or the child (they are relatives), since they live overseas. I really don't know the child on a personal level, and have only met the child on 2 very short occasions a long time ago. And I've never had any confrontations or disagreements with them before they moved overseas. So I'm not on bad terms with them...but you know I've just been asking my mom, and it seems I've been unaware of certain things which have happened...

Anonymous · Answer

AvangiIronically, if you had known them better, you might not have said it.And if they had known you better, they wouldn't have been offended.

Just saw now that you have added more detail. And you've hit on the nail!!...

AvangiIt's also possible that the expression is not part of their "family tradition," and they were forced to take it literally.And as you have said, there's a difference between "being spoiled rotten" (what you are), and "being spoiled rotten" (what's being done to you on a particular occasion).We often have this argument in grammar discussions: "to be" plus adjective vs. passive voice.(Two different interpretations of the exact same sentence.)

Your other explanations make total sense...I'm enlightened...

Thank you.

Anonymous · Answer

Avangi, you've tempted me to join EnglishForward.com. This is my second topic I've opened as Anonymous. I've always been an average student in English obtaining C symbols (that was a long time ago). I'd love to be proficient in the English Language; the only thing is I won't have time to navigate the forum unfortunately! <img class='emoticon' style='Width:19px;Height:19px;' data-delaysrc='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/79.gif' src='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/79.gif' alt='Emotion: shake'/>

Khoff · Answer

You don't need to have huge amounts of time available to join the forum -- just post questions whenever you have them.  If you join and have a forum identity, it helps us "recognize" you from one question to the next.  Sometimes that helps us give better answers.  It certainly makes us feel like we're answering a person, not just a question.

Anonymous · Answer

khoffYou don't need to have huge amounts of time available to join the forum -- just post questions whenever you have them. If you join and have a forum identity, it helps us "recognize" you from one question to the next. Sometimes that helps us give better answers. It certainly makes us feel like we're answering a person, not just a question.

Thank you, khoff.

Anonymous · Answer

Definition of a spoiled brat:
http://www.reference.com/motif/Society/spoiled-brat

Anonymous · Answer

The idiom, 'spoiled rotten' means to make sure one has a fantastic time and that that person comes away feeling so loved. People who understand the idiom would know what you mean, but people who do not fully understand it may find this idea of being spoiled + rotten offensive.

It is in no way offensive, however, words change over time and we are living in a changing world where people an

It is in no way offensive, however, words change over time and we are living in a changing world where people and differences in culture collide. We do need to be a little more discerning but to be honest, offense seems to be a common theme these days - we must be the most offended generation that has ever walked this planet.

Maybe the word offense should be removed from the English dictionary cause it gets thrown about so *****-nilly these days

Does "spoiled rotten" always have to have a negative connotation?

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