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Spooner Posted 14 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Does my sentence need correction?

Hi. I am translating a definition of "Safe State" in a construction manual.

Does my writing below need any rewrite?

"a state that is absent of sources of danger or, if one exists, backed up by countermeasures to prevent any human injuries or accidents"

or how about:

"a state where there is no source of danger or, if danger exists, where countermeasures have been established to prevent any human injuries or accidents"

Thanks
  

Top answer

Yours are pretty good. I'd do this: SAFE STATE: a state in which there is no source of danger or, if danger exists, in which countermeasures have been established to prevent injury or accident.

  • Yours are pretty good.
  • I'd do this: SAFE STATE: a state in which there is no source of danger or, if danger exists, in which countermeasures have been established to prevent injury or accident.
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2 Answers
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Yours are pretty good. I'd do this:

SAFE STATE: a state in which there is no source of danger or, if danger exists, in which countermeasures have been established to prevent injury or accident.
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I hope you have a neat day.

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