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Spooner Posted 14 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Does my sentence look nativish?

Could you check and see if my sentence below reads well for native speakers?
Thank you very much.

It’s a well known fact that smoking is one of the major causes of lung cancer and other lung related diseases. But what many back patients don’t seem to realize is that smoking is also bad for the back and it increases the risk of disc hernia by two to four times.
  

Top answer

Nativish, lol - nice new word You've done well. It's a well known fact that smoking is one of the major causes of lung cancer and other lung related diseases. -Perfect!

  • Nativish, lol - nice new word You've done well.
  • It's a well known fact that smoking is one of the major causes of lung cancer and other lung related diseases.
  • -Perfect!
  • My suggestion for the remaining section would be: But something that those who suffer from back problems may not realize is that, smoking is also bad for the back.
  • In fact it can increase the risk of disc hernia by two to four times.
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3 Answers
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Nativish, lol - nice new word Emotion: wink

You've done well.

It's a well known fact that smoking is one of the major causes o
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Thank you for your suggestion.

Would you mind pointing out to me what part of the second sentence didn't particularly read well for you to come up with your version which seems a quite different from the original?

Were all the changes necessary or is it more of your personal preference of how you'd phrase it?

I am only asking this in order to find out what's wrong with m
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I thought that although 'back patients' is not incorrect it made me stop for a second and wonder what you're referring to.

But that could just be personal preference as technically there isn't anything wrong with your version. I was just giving you another option from a native point of view but really you did well

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