Does it sound natural like this??

Question

Hi all,I need your help with several sentences I wrote. Could any native speaker please tell me if they sound good? Thanks a lot!1. You could follow the fortification on foot as a tourist path leads along. (Do we put a comma before AS?)2. Among his most renowned works of this genre, I should mention Waverly, Ivanhoe and Rob Roy. (comma?)3. But Scott first started writing historical romances, such as The Lady of the . (or: First, Scott started writing... ?)4. John Logie Baird was the first to demonstrate a working television system. (indefinite article?)5. Soon, he established the first transatlantic television broadcast. (comma after SOON?)6. The pipes are made of hardwood although initially they used bone or ivory. (position of INITIALLY ?)7. You can find there the British Golf Museum, tracing the development of this royal game. (comma ?)8. Nowadays, you can remark this plant (the thistle) depicted almost everywhere in Scotland – on boxes of sweets, on tourist signs and obviously as souvenirs in various forms. (Do I have to add articles when enumerating?)9. Barley is soaked in water. Add peat to the fire to give a distinctive flavour to the spirit. (What about using articles before words "water", "fire" ?)10. Visitors should be aware of pickpockets if they are in a crowded place. (Is it clear that I mean "When tourists are in a crowded place", not pickpockets...??:-))

Givento · Accepted Answer

1.

EffDo we put a comma before AS?

usually we don't

Eff2. Among his most renowned works of this genre, I should mention Waverly, Ivanhoe and Rob Roy. (comma?)

have no idea if a comma is relevant here or not. i'd omit it

3.

EffBut Scott first started writing historical romances, such as The Lady of the Lake. (or: First, Scott started writing... ?

better: However/Nevertheless Scott started with historical romances... i woul sooner say so than like you wrote here because "first" and "start" sound similar so i think only one is sufficient. and if it is not an informal conversation better avoid but, especially in written speech (for example, essays). Sentences are not to be started with conjunctions in written papers, that is the matter of style.

4.

EffJohn Logie Baird was the first to demonstrate a working television system. (indefinite article?)

i think yes, why not

any other suggestions?

5.

EffSoon, he established the first transatlantic television broadcast. (comma after SOON?)

up to you if you do want to somehow mark it out of the context. but what is that for? i think it is not necessary and the comma makes a reader stumble at this word. why should it be emphasized or separated from the rest of the sentence??

6.

EffThe pipes are made of hardwood although initially they used bone or ivory. (position of INITIALLY ?)

the position of "initially" is quite correct in my opinion. just because it is "initially")))

7.

EffYou can find there the British Golf Museum, tracing the development of this royal game. (comma ?)

no comma i suppose. there's smth wrong with the sentence. probably it's better to say You can find the British Golf Museum there' so that there will be the correct word order. have no other suggestions.

8.

EffNowadays, you can remark this plant (the thistle) depicted almost everywhere in Scotland – on boxes of sweets, on tourist signs and obviously as souvenirs in various forms. (Do I have to add articles when enumerating?)

i guess here articles are not necessary as you do not speak about any particular boxes of sweets or signs but mostly all of them

9.

EffBarley is soaked in water. Add peat to the fire to give a distinctive flavour to the spirit. (What about using articles before words "water", "fire" ?)

are these words very special to have a rule for them? i've always thought usage of the articles depends on the situation first and then on something else

10.

EffVisitors should be aware of pickpockets if they are in a crowded place. (Is it clear that I mean "When tourists are in a crowded place", not pickpockets...??:-))

you'd better use the variant beginning with "WHen tourists are..." thus you'll avoid any ambiguity

hope this helps somehow

Eff · Answer

Thanks for your suggestion, Givento...

Eff · Answer

Could any native speaker please check it? Thanks a lot.

Eff

Optilang · Answer

Hi
1 - You could follow the footpath which runs along the fortification.

Eff · Answer

Thanks, Optilang. What do you think of other sentences I wrote?

Givento · Answer

all in all, it is more important and more difficult to use appropriate wording than this or that punctuation mark. in most of cases there are no strictly defined rules for you using a comma here or there. but as we are taught no commas are used before most of the conjunctions (if not all of them, this idk exactly)

Nona the brit · Answer

I think you'd be better sticking to straightforward and simpler sentence structures. The parts where you are trying a 'clever' construction are the parts that are going wrong.

Also 'remark' does not mean what you think it does.

Nona the brit · Answer

I think you'd be better sticking to straightforward and simpler sentence structures. The parts where you are trying a 'clever' construction are the parts that are going wrong.

Also 'remark' does not mean what you think it does.

Nona the brit · Answer

I think you'd be better sticking to straightforward and simpler sentence structures. The parts where you are trying a 'clever' construction are the parts that are going wrong.

Also 'remark' does not mean what you think it does.

Does it sound natural like this??

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