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Ellee Posted 15 years ago
Vocabulary
Does it need rephrasing to sound more natural?
Chiledu’s unhurried, thoughtful words reassured Oeloon. She tried to imagine her life there, on the Selenga’s riverside, at Merkits’ camp, but nothing came out of it, she saw the same before her : the yurts near a bright lake, bordered by tall reeds, the poor-grassed steppes marked with white salt flats – gudzhirs – Okhonuts’ native nutug.
I mean she could only fancy the same, the other thing than what she tried to imagine
I mean she could only fancy the same, the other thing than what she tried to imagine
Top answer
FAR too many commas, leading you right in to the composition of run-on sentences! Chiledu’s unhurried, thoughtful words reassured Oeloon. She tried to imagine her life there on the Selenga’s riverside at Merkits’ camp, but nothing came of it.
- FAR too many commas, leading you right in to the composition of run-on sentences!
- Chiledu’s unhurried, thoughtful words reassured Oeloon.
- She tried to imagine her life there on the Selenga’s riverside at Merkits’ camp, but nothing came of it.
- She saw it all before h er: the yurts near a bright l ake bordered by tall reeds, the thinly grassed steppes pocked with white sal t flats or gudzhirs, and Okhonuts’ native nutug.
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1 Answers
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FAR too many commas, leading you right in to the composition of run-on sentences!
Chiledu’s unhurried, thoughtful words reassured Oeloon. She tried to imagine her life there on the Selenga’s riverside at Merkits’ camp, but nothing came of it. She saw it all before her: the yurts near a bright lake bordered by tall reeds, the thi
Chiledu’s unhurried, thoughtful words reassured Oeloon. She tried to imagine her life there on the Selenga’s riverside at Merkits’ camp, but nothing came of it. She saw it all before her: the yurts near a bright lake bordered by tall reeds, the thi
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