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Quaerereverum Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Do you think government should support art institutions such as museums and theaters?

Hello,

Is my paragraph correct?

  • In my view, government should support art institutions for 2 reasons. First, to show to the world what culture, heritage & history we come from. F/E since the Islamic revolution in Iran, many historical places were neglected during . F/E the Bam citadel which was built in 500 BC, was one of the adobe masterpieces since arches, barrel, and dome structures were used to construct it. After the earthquake hit Bam, the regime refused the help of archaeologists to restore it. Second, to keep our culture the alive. For example, since the main goal of the regime was to replace the Arabic culture with Persian culture whenever there is a concert or program in the theater, they attack to theaters.
Thank you in advance.
  

Top answer

Hi, Just a couple of quick comments. Don't use short forms like & or F/E. You seem to spend a lot of time discussing Bam, which is a citadel rather than an art institution.

— Clive

  • Hi, Just a couple of quick comments.
  • Don't use short forms like & or F/E.
  • You seem to spend a lot of time discussing Bam, which is a citadel rather than an art institution.
  • The parts in red are not complete sentences.
  • There are other problems, but perhaps you'd like to deal with these first.
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1 Answers
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Hi,

Just a couple of quick comments.

Don't use short forms like & or F/E.

You seem to spend a lot of time discussing Bam, which is a citadel rather than an art institution.

The parts in red a
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