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Anonymous Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Do you agree or disagree with building a movie theatre in your neighbourhood.

  • Hallo,
  • Could you please rectify my paragraph.
  • During 30 years of the Islamic regime in Iran, the regime has not constructed even one move theater in whole Iran, rather it either demolished or closed many movie theaters. So, I will welcome construction of any movie theater in my neighborhood for two reasons. First, people will have a recreation center to go on the weekend. Since deficiency of recreation centres has led that many young people refuge to drugs. Second, It creates few jobs for local people, because the unemployment rate is so high in Tehran that it is not unusual to see people being rubbed on the streets. Therefore, I support building a movie theater in Tehran.

Thank you so much for your time and effort.
  

Top answer

I have underlined some problem areas. Please fix them and post your revised paragraph: Duri ng 3 0 years of the Islamic regime in Iran, the regime has not constructed even one move theater in whole Ir an, rather it either demolished or closed many movie theaters. So, I will welcome construction of any movie theater in my neighborhood for two reasons.

  • I have underlined some problem areas.
  • Please fix them and post your revised paragraph: Duri ng 3 0 years of the Islamic regime in Iran, the regime has not constructed even one move theater in whole Ir an, rather it either demolished or closed many movie theaters.
  • So, I will welcome construction of any movie theater in my neighborhood for two reasons.
  • First, people will have a recreation center to go on the weekend .
  • Sin ce de ficiency of recreation centres has led that many young people refuge to drugs.
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1 Answers
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I have underlined some problem areas. Please fix them and post your revised paragraph:

During 30 years of the Islamic regime in Iran, the regime has not constructed even one move theater in whole Iran, rather it either demolished or closed many movie theaters. So, I will welcome construction of any movie theater in my neighborhood for two reasons. First

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