Do you agree or disagree: Technology has made the world a better place to live.

Question

Nowadays, with the rapid development of technology, it becomes an important part of humans’ life. Some people think that technology has made the world a better place to live, but some people do not agree with this idea. I, however, think that technology has made the world a higher quality place to live because it improves our transportation, it is convenient and it is comfortable.
Firstly, with modern technology, people can have many kinds of transportations. In the past, people had to go by bicycle or on foot; it is really difficult for people to move far away. So in the early 19 century, people with some technology had made the first motorbike to remove that problem. Furthermore, today we have many airplanes, cars, ships, vessels to help us to travel easily.
Secondly, technology is extremely convenient for people, especially for many people who live far from their family. For example, my uncle has lived and worked in America for 15 years, but my grandmother and my family are living in Vietnam so that it is very difficult to contact with his face to face. Despite that, we can contact him through email or telephone calls. Furthermore, it is extremely helpful when you have to face up to an emergency. For instance, a few days ago, I need to bring my research for my literature class and I had left if at home. So I was totally worried because it is the deadline for the research. If I did not hand in the paper, I would have gotten a worse score. Then, in this case, I had to call my father to bring it to me. Thus, it is highly convenient for many people.
Finally, I assume that technology is comfortable. It is the summer in Vietnam now, it is extremely hot. However, sitting in the air-conditioned room, people do not have to suffer from hot weather anymore. Thank modern technology, today, people do not need to be in trouble with the hot weather or cold weather.
In conclusion, I believe that technology has made the world a greater position to live because it improves our transportation, it is convenient and it is comfortable

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

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Topic: Do You Agree Or Disagree: Technology Has Made The World A Better Place To Live. Please give all the instructions.

My essay:

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AlpheccaStars · Answer

You have misused the word "technology" entirely, so the essay is not good.

Technology is a very broad term, an abstract noun. Technology is the application of scientific knowledge for practical purposes, especially in industry.

Technology collocates with "communications technology" "computing technology," "manufacturing technology," "medical technology" and "information technology."

We do not refer to objects such as cars, air conditioning systems, cell phones, airplanes, bicycles, motorbikes and trains as "technology." We use "high-tech" to describe devices that have been designed and manufactured with the latest scientific advancements. So a bicycle can be high-tech. These bikes are made from the most advanced carbon-fiber material.

The words "convenient" and "comfortable" do not apply to "technology."

Nowadays, with the rapid development of technology, it (What does "it" refer to? "Technology" is a vast subject area. Do you mean communications technology, computing technology, or manufacturing technology?) ) becomes an important part of our lives. ~~humans’ life~~. (That is not a good phrase. You used the plural possessive - humans' - with a singular noun - life. That is ungrammatical.) Some people think that technology has made the world a better place to live, but some people do not agree with this idea. I, however, think that technology has made the world a higher quality place to live because it improves our transportation, it is convenient and it is comfortable. (This does not make any sense. )
~~Firstly,~~ First, with modern technology, people can have many kinds of transportations. (wrong form. Transportation is non-count.) In the past, people had to go by bicycle or on foot; it is really difficult for people to move far away. So in the early 19 century, people with some technology had made the first motorbike to remove that problem. Furthermore, today we have many airplanes, cars, ships, vessels to help us to travel easily. (This is not technology.)
Secondly, technology is extremely convenient (This does not make sense.) for people, especially for many people who live far from their family. For example, my uncle has lived and worked in America for 15 years, but my grandmother and my family are living in Vietnam so that it is very difficult to contact with his face to face. (wrong expression) Despite that, we can contact him through email or telephone calls. Furthermore, it is extremely helpful when you have to face up to an emergency. For instance, a few days ago, I need (wrong form) to bring my research for my literature class and I had left if at home. So I was totally worried because it (Your research is not a deadline.) is the deadline for the research. If I did not hand in the paper, I would have gotten a worse score. Then, in this case, I had to call my father to bring it to me. Thus, it is highly convenient for many people.
Finally, I assume that technology is comfortable. (This does not make sense.) It is the summer in Vietnam now, it is extremely hot. However, sitting in the air-conditioned room, people do not have to suffer from hot weather anymore. Thank modern technology, today, people do not need to be in trouble with the hot weather or cold weather.
In conclusion, I believe that technology has made the world a greater position to live because it improves our transportation, it is convenient and it is comfortable

Do you agree or disagree: Technology has made the world a better place to live.

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