Dilemma in Scholarship Application

Question

I intend to apply a scholarship to fund my post graduate study. This particular scholarship requires me to write a 500 words statement describing my extra-curricular that can demonstrate a capacity for leadership in the past till now.

But due to circumstances I almost never involved myself into any sort of charity/volunteering events as well as clubs/societies. It thus seems to me that i am not that eligible to apply for this scholarship. But there is hardly anything out there I could apply and so this scholarship is essential to me in determining whether or not I could further my studies.

Can anyone be kind enough to provide me with some ideas to write about this statement? Will writing my future potential contribution to the society instead of looking at my past help?

Clive · Accepted Answer

Hi.

It sounds like an approach that is worth trying.

Good luck, Clive

Bluecastle · Answer

Thank you Clive.

Below is the essay I tried my very best to write. But it seems to me it's really "out-of-the-topic" of what the scholarship required me to write. Could you please show some guidance and provide some ideas how I can twist about it?

English is not my first language and I find it really hard to even construct a sentence in a statement like this. I would really appreciate if you could help.

Describe below how your interests and achievements, both academic and extra-curricular, demonstrate a capacity for leadership, commitment to using your knowledge to serve your community and to applying your talents to improve the lives of others.

One of the qualities I possess, which I believe would qualify me as a research scientist, is curiosity. It is the motivational prerequisite which stimulates my thirst for knowledge and involves me in the pursuit of science. I am always curious about why we are curious as human beings – a statement sound like to most people of asking for troubles or mere foolish. Nonetheless, it fuels my interest in exploring the human brain, subsequently the field of neuroscience and further the utterly complex neurological basis and molecular mechanisms that reside within a brain.

Born as what my country people called a “Kampung (village) girl”, furthering my education was never presented to me as an option with my background. I have a pair of underprivileged parents who have never been exposed to much educational opportunities in their generation. Since young I have witnessed their struggles and the disadvantages to survive in the society due to the lack of basic education. Their experiences have always inspired me to be an educator and for years I trudge towards this aspiration. Along the route a bigger picture set in my eyes: Countries suffering from poverty are predominately countries with poor educational standards and unfortunately my home country is one of those in the history. Without rigorous educational standards one can easily fall into the trap of fallacies and false beliefs with subsequent disruption of a nation. I hence am determined to make a positive impact on people's lives through education.

Nonetheless, part-way through devising my career as an educator, I could not find enough satisfaction and a sense of fulfilment to feed my ever-growing curiosity. I struggled and became doubtful of my choice until the time I discovered the one thing that I found especially captivating – Science. Years later after my academic exposure and involvement in the scientific research works, I realized the flexibilities, uncertainties, non-absoluteness and mind-stimulating intellectual challenges in the world of scientific research are the elements I have always been seeking for in life. Combining my passion for science and my fervour in education, I came to a conclusion that the ideal prospect for me is to grow to be an academic researcher.

A country with exceptional scientific knowledge would better be able to compete in the global work place, and bring about growth and prosperity for the country. Over the years numerous programs and strategies have been designed and launched by our government to leapfrog my home country into theinfromation and knowledge age. Decades have passed, though improvements could be seen, they are indeed trivial. Our nation are still lack of dynamic in seeking of knowledge for own development due to the unfairness and inefficiencies of higher education system in my home country. I am determined to devote myself to dispose these complications impeding the chances of people to acquire sufficient scientific knowledge and subsequently their involvement in the R&D activities.

Upon my completion of the postgraduate training in University of ***, I shall acquire a solid foundation of knowledge in the research field and on returning to my home country I would attain the capability as an academician to educate and instil the concept in valuing scientific research and development among the next generation of my nation. As a world-class research centre, University of *** will prepare me with adequate aptitude to help strengthen education and to develop technologies appropriate to our local circumstances. I also long for expanding my role as an adviser to both my government and industrial world. Building up coherence among the expertises in related field we are able to form a scientific community potentially drives further financial supports and investments from our government into the scientific education and R&D industries. As follows the brain drain situation can also be prevented as opportunities increase, and eventually leading our community as a whole towards a revolutionary era.

Many thanks.

Clive · Answer

Hi,

It seems to me you've done pretty well. I suppose you might considera paragraph directly explaining why you have not yet had , or taken, opportunities to demonstrate leadership and commitment to community service. Or perhaps it is better not to confront this directly? It's a matter for your judgement.

If you want to make any more changes, go ahead. Then I'll be happy to check your English.

Clive

Bluecastle · Answer

Thank you very much Clive. You are very kind and I am really grateful.

I do have a paragraph here I wrote earlier, in fact, at the very begining of my composition of this statement. But I do not know how/where to slot it into the statement i showed you earlier. Can I ask for your suggestion for this?

Due to financial restrictions and time commitments to the inflexible education system in my home country, I did not have many chances to engage myself into much extra-curriculum or any form of the community services. This is the one thing that I truly regretted as I have realized the magnitude of my devotion to something outside the classroom to my all round development as a human being. During my time as a student, I committed almost all of my time outside my academic life to a variety of part-time and vacation jobs. I would not deny that my original intention of involving myself in these works was for the money instead of the nobility to serve. Nonetheless, these work activities have granted me with various leadership prospects and have built my capacity to manage, lead and collaborate effectively with different sets of people. Among the jobs I involved, some of which requested me to act as a supervisor, overseeing subordinates with different ethnic backgrounds. One of the examples is my employment as a cashier supervisor in a local retail company at the age of 20. My role was a challenging one as I need to constantly recognize the cultural diversity at the workplace and be aware of the sensitivity of cross-cultural issues as well as the communication styles while supervising fellow cashiers and provide customer services for people from various ethnicities. Again, I sought innovative approaches and managed to survive in such organisation.

Clive · Answer

Hi,

I think it would be good to include it near the start, to set the direction clearly.

Clive

Bluecastle · Answer

Hello Clive.

I have made some changes to my statement. Could you please help me to check through especially my sentence expression? Your critisms on the contents are also very welcome. Many thanks in advance =)!

One of the qualities I possess, which I believe would qualify me as a research scientist, is curiosity. It is the motivational prerequisite which stimulates my thirst for knowledge and involves me in the pursuit of science. I am always curious about why we are curious as human beings – a statement sound like to most people of asking for troubles or mere foolish. Nonetheless, it fuels my interest in exploring the human brain, subsequently the field of neuroscience and further the utterly complex neurological basis and molecular mechanisms that reside within a brain.

Born as what my country people called a “Kampung (village) girl”, furthering my education was never presented to me as an option with my background. I have a pair of underprivileged parents who have never been exposed to much educational opportunities in their generation. Since young I have witnessed their struggles and the disadvantages to survive in the society due to the lack of basic education. Their experiences have always inspired me to be an educator and for years I trudge towards this aspiration. Along the route a bigger picture set in my eyes: Countries suffering from poverty are predominately countries with poor educational standards and unfortunately my home country is one of those in the history. Without rigorous educational standards one can easily fall into the trap of fallacies and false beliefs with subsequent disruption of a nation. I hence am determined to make a positive impact on people's lives through education.

Nonetheless, part-way through devising my career as an educator, I could not find enough satisfaction and a sense of fulfilment to feed my ever-growing curiosity. I struggled and became doubtful of my choice until I discovered the one thing that I found especially captivating – Science. Years later after my academic exposure and involvement in the scientific research works, I realized the flexibilities, uncertainties, non-absoluteness and mind-stimulating intellectual challenges in the world of scientific research are the elements I have always been seeking for in life. Combining my passion for science and my fervour in education, I came to a conclusion that the ideal prospect for me is to grow to be an academic researcher.

Outside my academic life, I committed my time to a variety of part-time and vacation jobs to ease my family’s burden. These work activities have granted me with various leadership prospects and have built my capacity to manage, lead and collaborate effectively with different sets of people. Among the jobs I involved, some of which requested me to act as a supervisor, overseeing subordinates with different ethnic backgrounds. An example is my employment as a cashier supervisor in a local retail company at the age of 20. My role was a challenging one as I need to constantly recognize the cultural diversity at the workplace and be aware of the sensitivity of cross-cultural issues as well as the communication styles while supervising fellow cashiers and provide customer services for people from various ethnicities. Again, I sought innovative approaches and managed to survive in such organisation.

I am determined to devote myself to dispose the complications impeding the chances of my country people to acquire sufficient scientific knowledge and subsequently their involvement in the R&D activities. Upon my completion of the postgraduate training in University of ***, I shall acquire a solid foundation of knowledge in the research field and on returning to my home country I would attain the capability as an academician to educate and instil the concept in valuing scientific research and development among the next generation of my nation. As a world-class research centre, University of *** will prepare me with adequate aptitude to help strengthen education and to develop technologies appropriate to our local circumstances. I also long for expanding my role as an adviser to both my government and industrial world. Building up coherence among the expertises in related field we are able to form a scientific community potentially drives further financial supports and investments from our government into the scientific education and R&D industries. As follows the brain drain situation can also be prevented as opportunities increase, and eventually leading our community as a whole towards a revolutionary era.

Bluecastle · Answer

There is a word limit for this statement. I couldn't be possibly including all the information in there. so I decided just directly mention what I have acquired from the job.

Clive · Answer

Hi,

One of the qualities I possess, which I believe would qualify me as a research scientist, is curiosity. It is the motivational prerequisite which stimulates my thirst for knowledge and involves me in the pursuit of science. I am always curious about why we are curious as human beings – a statement which sounds merely foolish to most people. Nonetheless, it fuels my interest in exploring the human brain, subsequently the field of neuroscience and further the utterly complex neurological basis and molecular mechanisms that reside within a brain.

Born as what people in my country called a “Kampung (village) girl”, furthering my education was never presented to me as an option due to my background. I have underprivileged parents who have never been exposed to much educational opportunities in their generation. Since I was young I have witnessed their struggles and their difficulty in surviving in society due to their lack of basic education. Their experiences have always inspired me to be an educator and for years I trudged towards this goal. Along the route a bigger picture caught my eye: countries suffering from poverty are predominately countries with poor educational standards and unfortunately my home country is one of those. Without rigorous educational standards people can easily fall into the trap of fallacies and false beliefs with subsequent disruption of a nation. explain this disruption a bit I hence am determined to make a positive impact on people's lives through education.

Nonetheless, part-way through devising my career as an educator, I could not find enough satisfaction and a sense of fulfilment to feed my ever-growing curiosity. I struggled and became doubtful of my choice until I discovered the one thing that I found especially captivating – Science. Years later after my academic exposure and involvement in scientific research, I realized the flexibilities, uncertainties, non-absoluteness and mind-stimulating intellectual challenges in the world of scientific research are the elements I have always been seeking for in life. Combining my passion for science and my fervour in education, I came to a conclusion that the ideal prospect for me is to grow to be an academic researcher.

Outside my academic life, I committed my time to a variety of part-time and vacation jobs to ease my family’s burden. These work activities have granted me various leadership prospects explain? and have built my capacity to manage, lead and collaborate effectively with different sets of people. Among the jobs I have had are some which requiredd me to act as a supervisor, overseeing subordinates with different ethnic backgrounds. An example is my employment as a cashier supervisor in a local retail company at the age of 20. My role was a challenging one as I needed to constantly recognize the cultural diversity at the workplace and be aware of the sensitivity of cross-cultural issues as well as the communication styles while supervising fellow cashiers and providing customer services for people from various ethnicities. Again, I sought innovative approaches and managed to survive in such an organisation.

I am determined to devote myself to disposing of the complications impeding the chances of my country-people to acquire sufficient scientific knowledge and subsequently their involvement in the R&D activities. Upon my completion of the postgraduate training in University of ***, I shall have acquired a solid foundation of knowledge in the research field and on returning to my home country I will have the capability as an academician to educate and instil the concept of valuing scientific research and development among the next generation of my nation. As a world-class research centre, the University of *** will prepare me to help strengthen education and to develop technologies appropriate to our local circumstances. I also long to expand my role as an adviser to both my government and tndustry.. Building up coherence among the expertises in related fields, we who??? will be able to form a scientific community which will potentially drive further financial supports and investments from our government into the scientific education and R&D industries. As follows the brain drain situation can also be prevented as opportunities increase, and eventually leading our community as a whole towards a revolutionary era. I don't like your last sentence. Too general.

Good luck, Clive

Dilemma in Scholarship Application

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions