Diffidence and timidity

Question

Can anyone explain the difference between diffidence and timidity? How are they different?
When I look in the The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language they look very simular to me.
Cheers,
Lars

Usenet · Accepted Answer

[nq:1]Can anyone explain the difference between diffidence and timidity? How are they different? When I look in the The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language they look very simular to me. Cheers, Lars[/nq]
I would say that diffidence is reluctance to be aggressive, the inclination to be the opposite, for the sake of not being seen as aggressive, for propriety and etiquette, or in recognition or belief that one is lower on the totem-pole than someone else. Therefore, the diffident one doesn't interrupt and refrains from other things that might look assertive. For some, even looking a little bit assertive is avoided.. This is not a complete description, but the next paragraph should make the difference clear.
Timidity seems to me a more general fear. It relates not just to being shy for the sake of not looking aggressive, but includes any time fear is involved. For example, someone may be too timid to pet a dog or cat, or even get near one, but that is not diffidence.

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]Can anyone explain the difference between diffidence and timidity? How are they different? When I look in the The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language they look very simular to me.[/nq]
We are usually diffident to people that we instinctively feel are superior to us in some way, or to people we think deserve respect for their position. We might act diffidently around the top company executive, a high-ranking official, or a leader in some capacity. We may not recognize that we consider them superior or deserving of respect, but it comes out in our demeanor in addressing them.

Timidity, though, is a personal characteristic that describes how we act around all people regardless of their station.

We might diffidently make a suggestion to the chief executive officer of the company we work for, but timidly make suggestions in a meeting of our peers.
Diffidence is rooted in our view of other people and timidity is rooted in our confidence in ourselves.

Tony Cooper - Orlando, Florida

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]Can anyone explain the difference between diffidence and timidity? How are they different? When I look in the The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language they look very simular to me.[/nq]
They are. Both have a more general meaning of "shy", but with different overtones. They come, respectively, from the latin words "to mistrust" and "to fear".
Strictly, someone who is diffident is lacking in self-confidence; someone who is timid is easily frightened. More loosely, they're pretty much synonyms (and, indeed, one definition in my dictionary of "diffident" is "timid"; hardly surprising, considering that people who are timid are likely to be diffident, and vice versa).
"Diffident" is, I think, a rather more educated or literary word here in the UK than "timid"; it's not one I'd expect to hear much in every-day speech. The only example of its use that springs confidently to mind is from Gilbert and Sullivan's comic operetta "Ruddigore", written over a century ago:
"Then I sing and I play and I paint;
Though none are accomplished as I,
To say so were treason:
You ask me the reason?
I'm diffident, modest and shy!
If you wish in the world to advance,
Your merits you're bound to enhance.
You must stir it and stump it,
And blow your own trumpet,
Or, trust me, you haven't a chance!"
(Quoted partially as example, but mostly because it's a thumping good piece from an excellent work, and I like it!)
Cheers - Ian
(BrE: Yorks., Notts., Hants.)

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