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Ryan_soccerplaya Posted 20 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Diary-corectinn-help

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE FIX AND GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS TO MY DIARY ENTRY.

Dear Diary

Right now, I am on a train that is heading to Baddeck. I guess, you wonder why I’m on this train. I am not running away or anything like that; instead I am being sent away for the summer by my own mother! There is a long story behind that, so let me start right away. As you know my father is a sailor and that he can’t spend much time with us.

I think, that all kids need their father to be supported and get help whenever they need, but my father is never there for me. Well, he is there sometimes, but not as much as necessary. I used to like him and respect him, but not since I have seen him gambling with our money that we need! You wonder how I saw him. Well, I got these new friends who are much older than I am. I often sneaked out at night with them to watch or play card games in a gambling house and that was how I saw him. The next day he didn’t even bother to come to say hi to us, although he was in the same city. So, that’s why I hate him and don’t even want to be close to him. But my mother always says” that’s the life of a sailor” although it seems like he is taking advantage of that.

My mother isn’t like my father, she always tries to make us happy and be there for us.

I think, the reason she is sending me away is that she thinks I am doing nonsense stuff with my “new friends”, like gambling. Well, I guess she is kind of right, but that doesn’t mean she can send me away. She wants me to work for this guy named Alexander Graham Bell who is supposed to be an inventor. I bet you, all I have to do there is being his servant and work like a slave for him! I already hate the idea of being a servant of a rich man, but what can I do? I guess, I just have to try my best and wait till my time is over in Baddeck.

(formatted to resolve MS Word problems)
  

Top answer

Well done. Some notes: I guess you wonder (no comma) As you know , (add comma) and he can't (no that) I think that l ike my father ; she (semicolon) I think the reason new friends (no quotation marks) to do there is be his servant I guess I just

  • Well done.
  • Some notes: I guess you wonder (no comma) As you know , (add comma) and he can't (no that) I think that l ike my father ; she (semicolon) I think the reason new friends (no quotation marks) to do there is be his servant I guess I just
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1 Answers
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Well done. Some notes:

I guess you wonder (no comma)
As you know, (add comma)
and he can't (no that)
I think that
like my father; she (semicolon)
I think the reason
new friends (no quotation marks)
to do there is be his servant
I guess I just

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