Devastation 2

Question

My team included a local photographer and a couple of guides. For fear of getting caught, we had to travel in the cover of darkness. All roads leading to the areas were blocked by police in an effort to isolate them from media coverage. We took the difficult way to get to our destination, the rivers. A normal trip would take only four hours, but our stressful and dangerous journey took us 21 hours one way. We lived off bottled water and some bread most of the time and constantly looked over our shoulders. Finally, we arrived safely.

Are there any mistakes?
Thanks.

CalifJim · Accepted Answer

My team included a local photographer and a couple of guides. For fear of getting caught, we had to travel ~~in the~~ under cover of darkness. All roads leading to the areas were blocked by police in an effort to isolate them from media coverage. We took the difficult way to get to our destination, the rivers. A normal trip [would take / would have taken] only four hours, but our stressful and dangerous journey took us 21 ~~hours~~ (one way). (Most of the time) We lived off [bottled water and some bread / bread and bottled water] (most of the time) and constantly looked over our shoulders. Finally, we arrived safely.
I almost put "would have taken" in red, though either is possible, to my ear.
I think most of us native speakers prefer the order bread and water to water and bread-- from being told as children that if we misbehaved we would be thrown in jail and have to live on bread and water.

Personally I prefer the "lived off ..." phrase to flow directly into "constantly looked over ..." without the intervening "most of the time", so I would move it for the sake of the rhythm of the sentence. I would even make it more immediate and exciting by using the -ing form: "lived off bread and bottled water, constantly looking over our shoulders".

CJ

New2grammar · Answer

I really appreciate your suggestions.

CalifJim would even make it more immediate and exciting by using the -ing form:

I never knew this impression. Good point!!

By the way I see that you use live on instead of live off. Any difference?

CalifJim · Answer

New2grammarI see that you use live on instead of live off.

I had to go back and reread the whole post before I saw that.
live on is the more neutral form. There is no anxiety about what one is going to eat.
live off seems to me more the case when one must forage for oneself in dire circumstances, for example, in the wilderness - a sort of catch-as-catch-can mode of living. Hence, the expression, "to live off the land".

In your story, it seems to me that there is at least some element of anxiety about obtaining food, so live off is not out of place, though live on would also do.
In my situation, the jailers provide the food (such as it is), so there is no element of the prisoner having to obtain it for himself and no element of worry about where the next meal will come from.
CJ

New2grammar · Answer

Sorry for the inconvenience. I should have quoted or at least bolded the phrase.
Thanks for the clear explanation, CJ. Your explanations always satisfy me. Ummm... someone is missing on the forum, where has Clive been? Haven't seen him around for a while.

CalifJim · Answer

Very observant of you!
He's on vacation for a week.]
CJ

New2grammar · Answer

AHa... nice. hope he has fun. <img src="http://www.EnglishForward.com/emoticons/emotion-59.gif"/>

Devastation 2

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