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Alfito Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Description of a castle
hello everybody,
I need help again with the following paragraph, I've written wo different options but none ofthem seems to sound totally right...would you help me to choose and correct my mistakes?
Optoin A
" In this period the castle’s area was reduced with respect to the previous Arab enclosure and the present North wall as well as the moat that precedes it, was built, the latter being directly carved into the rock thus allowing staggering the defense of the group before the occupation of the North side of the hill when under siege and reducing the defensive area to about 4,700m2".
Option B
" In this period the castle’s area was reduced with respect to the previous Arab enclosure and the present North wall as well as the moat that precedes it, was built, the latter being directly carved into the rock. This would allow staggering the defense of the group before the occupation of the North side of the hill when under siege and would reduce the defensive area to about 4,700m2."
Thanks a lot in adavance, you're a great help!!
I need help again with the following paragraph, I've written wo different options but none ofthem seems to sound totally right...would you help me to choose and correct my mistakes?
Optoin A
" In this period the castle’s area was reduced with respect to the previous Arab enclosure and the present North wall as well as the moat that precedes it, was built, the latter being directly carved into the rock thus allowing staggering the defense of the group before the occupation of the North side of the hill when under siege and reducing the defensive area to about 4,700m2".
Option B
" In this period the castle’s area was reduced with respect to the previous Arab enclosure and the present North wall as well as the moat that precedes it, was built, the latter being directly carved into the rock. This would allow staggering the defense of the group before the occupation of the North side of the hill when under siege and would reduce the defensive area to about 4,700m2."
Thanks a lot in adavance, you're a great help!!
Top answer
First, I would break up the long sentences. " Here is my suggested version of the rest of it. During this period, the castle's area was smaller than that of the previous Arab enclosure.
- First, I would break up the long sentences.
- " Here is my suggested version of the rest of it.
- During this period, the castle's area was smaller than that of the previous Arab enclosure.
- In addition, the present North Wall was built, along with the outer moat, which was directly carved into the rock.
- This allowed them to stagger their defense when under siege and to reduce the area to be defended to about 4,700 square meters.
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1 Answers
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First, I would break up the long sentences. However, I am not clear what you meant by "before the occupation of the North side of the hill when under siege." Here is my suggested version of the rest of it.
During this period, the castle's area was smaller than that of the previous Arab enclosure. In addition, the present North Wall was built, along with the outer m
During this period, the castle's area was smaller than that of the previous Arab enclosure. In addition, the present North Wall was built, along with the outer m
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