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Moguwai007 Posted 13 years ago
Grammar
Description about a movie
<Self-made sentence>
Could you check if these sentences are intelligible?
I like this movie"Black Rain". I found it was a bit exaggerated to be made entertaining. But Yakuza culture is well-described without too much bias.
Could you check if these sentences are intelligible?
I like this movie"Black Rain". I found it was a bit exaggerated to be made entertaining. But Yakuza culture is well-described without too much bias.
Top answer
moguwai007 I found it was a bit exaggerated to be made entertaining. I don't understand that.
- moguwai007 I found it was a bit exaggerated to be made entertaining.
- I don't understand that.
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8 Answers
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moguwai007I found it was a bit exaggerated to be made entertaining.I don't understand that.
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Do you understand my intention? How about this one?
"I thought the movie was made more exaggerated than life so that it can be entertaining."
"I thought the movie was made more exaggerated than life so that it can be entertaining."
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moguwai007Do you understand my intention? How about this one?"I thought the movie was made more exaggerated than life so that it can be entertaining."Ah. I didn't get that from your original wording. That might be better as "I thought the movie exaggerated everything to make it more entertaining."
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So are the below sentences more natural?
I like this movie"Black Rain". I thought the movie exaggerated everything to make it more entertaining .
But Yakuza culture is well-described without too much bias.
I like this movie"Black Rain". I thought the movie exaggerated everything to make it more entertaining .
But Yakuza culture is well-described without too much bias.
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moguwai007So are the below sentences more natural?I like this movie"Black Rain". I thought the movie exaggerated everything to make it more entertaining .But Yakuza culture is well-described without too much bias.Why did you use "this movie" instead of "the movie"? Also, inexperienced writers should avoid starting a sentence with a coordinating conjunction, a
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Thank you very much for you reply. This is actually a comment I want to post on Facebook. I am also thinking of adding a link of the movie to that comment, so I used the word "this". May I also ask if the coordinating conjunction you are referring to is "But" ?
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