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Perfect Stranger Posted 13 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Describing real-life situations to expand vocabulary and improve grammar - no. 1

Hello all,

I find it hard to describe some situations in English... Books can't teach me the way native speakers would describe each and every thing because there are too many unpredictable situations... If you could correct this paragraph, I'd be grateful. All my doubts are in parenthesis are marked in orange...

Today in the morning, at around 9.30 am (is at necessary?) I went downstairs and took one of the public bikes from the docking stations that are right next to my apartment block (perhaps I should say next to the apartment block I live in?) and then set off to work/to my workplace. On the way I passed by/overtook several bikers as I was riding pretty fast. After a short while I got to huge crossroads that I have to cross each and every day if I want to get to my workplace. I stopped the bike right at the yellow line as there were cars coming from the left and once the light turned green I moved up to the middle of the crossroads as I wanted to turn left. Out of a sudden, a man who must have been riding faster then me passed me by and touched (I don't think it's the right word) me accidentally with his right arm, lost the balance and control over his bike and fell down to the ground. (Something feels incorrect here about this sentence)

Thanks a million
  

Top answer

I'm going to split this paragraph into smaller chunks and remove the colors to make it easier for anyone who wants to help me out. ) and then -----> set off to work/to my workplace . On the way I -----> passed by/overtook several bikers as I was riding pretty fast.

  • I'm going to split this paragraph into smaller chunks and remove the colors to make it easier for anyone who wants to help me out.
  • ) and then -----> set off to work/to my workplace .
  • On the way I -----> passed by/overtook several bikers as I was riding pretty fast.
  • After a short while I got to huge crossroads that I have to cross each and every day if I want to get to my workplace.
  • I stopped the bike right at the yellow line as there were cars coming from the left and once the light turned green I moved up to the middle of the crossroads as I wanted to turn left.
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5 Answers
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I'm going to split this paragraph into smaller chunks and remove the colors to make it easier for anyone who wants to help me out.

Today in the morning, at around 9.30 am -----> (is at necessary?)

I went downstairs and took one of the public bikes from the docking stations that are right next to my apartmen
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Today in the morning, at around 9.30 am (is at necessary? no ) I went downstairs and took one of the public bikes from the docking stations that are right next to my apartment block (perhaps I should say next to the apartment block I live in
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Thanks a lot Clive. Appreciate it!
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can anybody help me out here in completing my SOP for master by research program?
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If you post it, someone may volunteer to review it.

But please post it as a separate thread.

Clive

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