Declined Offer Letter

Question

Would appreciate could anyone of you check my English. Thanks in advance.

Dear Alex,

Having spoken to Ms. Lee on the phone the other day with regards to your offer, unfortunately due to my current situation and time constraint, i'm not able to take up your offer.

Anyway thanks for giving me a chance to be with ABC company again and i really appreciate it.

One thing i have to admit that during my tenure with ABC company, you have been always very supportive to me and it was always a pleasure to talk to you and joke on various subject. I hope you could find someone whose is more capable and high level then me in the near future.

Yours sincerely,

Johnb · Accepted Answer

Hi. It's a nice letter, with few mistakes - 'Alex' would (I think) appreciate the letter as it is. However, this is a standard kind of letter that many people might be interested in writing, so here are some suggested changes:

In place of unfortunately in the first sentence try 'I'm sorry to let you know that..' This is always a good phrase for this kind of letter. (Constraint in the same sentence should be constraints.)

Instead of 'Anyway' to begin the second paragraph, try 'However' or simply start with 'Thanks for...'. Instead of 'and I really appreciate it' I would suggest a full stop and new sentence, like this -'... ABC company again. I really appreciate it.' This draws attention to the fact your appreciate the offer.

Rather than ' one thing I have to admit...', I'd use 'I would like to say that during my tenure...' If you say 'I have to admit' it sounds like you expected the experience to be awful, but in the end it wasn't all that bad... There is no need for a comma between '...ABC company' and 'you have been...'. Also you need to put an 's' on the end of subject - 'various subjects'. The tenses don't agree in the sentence - 'you have been suportive etc' needs to agree with 'was always a pleasure'. For example 'have always been very supportive...and it has been a pleasure to talk...'.

The last sentence should be in the future tense - 'I hope you will find'. 'Whose is' is not right - simply 'who is'. 'High level' maybe should be 'at a higher level' and 'then should be 'than'.

You need to watch for the 's' that you've missed in a couple of place. And 'I', when you are talking about yourself need to be a capital letter even if it is in the middle of the sentence (I'm sure you know that; it just slipped your mind). Be careful with your tenses in general. Nice letter though.

John

Fanllytee · Answer

sorry for late reply as i was out of job after i had posted the above messages.  i sincerely appreciate your comments and advised.  I agreed with you, i used to miss out the 's' most of the time. Thanks for reminding me.

Declined Offer Letter

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions