Dear Teachers, I would be more than happy if you could take a look at my paragraf.

DESCRIPTION OF THIRST
The woman was still chasing me hundred meters behind. I made a U turn after the bridge and walked into the unfrequented road by the discharge channel and rushed a quarter mile or so when I felt exhausted and stopped. I had been running more than an hour and I was tired, licked my lips to try to wet my mouth but it was dry. My tongue swiped across my lips again. I panted from the heat which wasn't helping. A slight breeze blew past, making my open mouth even drier. I wished I'd listened when my mother'd told me not to mess with this old hag when I'd had the chance. Thirst was a burn that didn't go away, but instead grew steadily stronger and harder to ignore as I went on running and the sun was beating on my back and neck. The more drops of sweat that formed on my sun dried skin due to perspiration the more this thirst overtook me and overthrew all of my other senses one at a time. My sight blurred in the singeing heat. My sense of smell completely craved the smell of stale ice melting in a cool glass of ayran that would bead on the outside. My tongue gnawed at the roof of my parched mouth and the thick, roughness of my taste buds only increased until it was unbearable to stand any long. My throat was dry and sore. There was a pain at the back of my head that threatened to grow into a powerful migraine, a sure sign that dehydration wasn't far away. If I had a liter of water right now I'd drain the whole thing, but as it was, I have none and it was a long walk home to get some. But I had no time to stand around and look for a water fountain.