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Jenny pink Posted 10 years ago
Grammar

Dear teacher, can you please help me review this essay? Thank you so much!

*Studies have suggested that children watch more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things.
What are the reasons and what measure should be taken to encourage student to spend more time on active or creative things?*

Answer:

The last decades have witnessed a tendency that children watch an excessive amount of TV, which prevents them from engaging in active or creative activities. In this essay, the explanations will be put forward before some solutions are drawn to tackle this issue.

First and foremost, there are various reasons why children spend more time watching television, which leads to a sedentary lifestyle. The primary reason is that TV is broadcast all day with addictive contents. The burgeoning channels with all-day-long series of vivid and colorful animations are inevitably attractive to children. Disney Channel and Cartoon Network are two evident examples. Second, the absence of parental supervision is also the culprit of this phenomenon. Modern parents are too busy with their work to take care of their offspring. As a result, youngsters have to seek their own way of entertaining, one of which is watching TV.

A number of strong measurements must be implemented to address this problem. One of the most feasible solutions is limiting the amount of screen time for children. Parental control mode can be activated or parents can set a fixed operating time limit on their TV set. Besides, parents are encouraged to spend more time with their children. Together they can engage in some outdoor activities such as playing football, jogging, go fishing, go picnic, etc. It will be likely to be more appealing to children than television.

In a nutshell, while there are a variety of reasons why children choose watching TV in preference to other active or creative activities, this negative trend could be tackled by a number of remedies.
  

Top answer

Over t he last decades, we have witnessed a tendency for children to watch an excessive amount of TV, which prevents them from engaging in active or creative activities. In this essay, the explanations will be put forward before some solutions are drawn to tackle this issue. First and foremost, there are various reasons why children spend more time watching television, which leads to a sedentary lifestyle.

  • Over t he last decades, we have witnessed a tendency for children to watch an excessive amount of TV, which prevents them from engaging in active or creative activities.
  • In this essay, the explanations will be put forward before some solutions are drawn to tackle this issue.
  • First and foremost, there are various reasons why children spend more time watching television, which leads to a sedentary lifestyle.
  • The primary reason is that TV is broadcast all day with addictive content .
  • The burgeoning channels with all-day-long series of vivid and colorful animations are inevitably attractive to children.
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4 Answers
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Over the last decades, we have witnessed a tendency for children to watch an excessive amount of TV, which prevents them from engaging in active or creative activities. In this essay, the explanations will be put forward before some solutions are drawn to tackle this issue.

First and foremost, there are various reasons why children spend more time watching tele
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Thank you so much. But for the introduction, I thought "we" should be avoided due to the objectivity of the essay. Is it true?
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jenny pink I thought "we" should be avoided due to the objectivity of the essay. Is it true?
Not really. But if you wish to avoid the personal pronoun, then either the existential "there" or passive voice could be used.

Over the last decades, there has been a tendency for children to watch an excessive amount of TV,
Over the last decades,
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Yes. I think I would prefer these two sentences. Thank you so much for your help! Emotion: big smile

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