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Chameleon Upadhyaya Posted 12 years ago
Grammar

Dear Experts ! I need your help here. Please correct this paragraph below, its a kind of urgent, !

I don’t need to explain more that Internet is a part of our daily life. We can imagine the rapid development of internet services from B&W era to the modern world. Those were the days we have had the dialup internet with a limited access and the slow speed comparing the high speed broadband today. There are lots of countries that they are still beyond the proper usage of highspeed Internet Services one of them is Nepal.
Nepal does not hold a long history in Internet it’s been a couple of years that the high speed broadband internet takes it height in the Nepalese Market. Poor thing is that its expected growth is not that much satisfactory then the way it should be.
According to report of Nepal Telecom Authority (NTA) there are only 25% market penetrations in terms of high speed broadband users in Nepal if we consider the services like 3G or GPRS provided by local telco operators. On the other hand there are more than 45 registered Internet service providers in Nepal providing the internet services according to their capacity and coverage, and somewhere we have heard that Internet business is already on saturation point. The current trend shows that large players in market are only focusing the corporate sectors than the retail users. We are getting lots of grievances and complaints from retail users regarding the services they get at their end comparing the corporate sectors.
The secondary fact is that market players are not focusing their services outside the Kathmandu valley. Because high-tech needs a huge investment which generates the low revenue that’s why there is a high risk factor. Besides that the regulatory body (NTA) has not a strong policy which empowers the service providers to expand their services beyond city areas.
Considering points above what are the factors that cause to deliver the high speed broadband internet towards the retail users and we can maximize the current market penetration up to more than ninety percent. What are the step that has to be taken by private sector and government sector both to meet the demand of “ Highspeed Internet For Everyone”
  

Top answer

Chameleon, It doesn't make any difference if a post is noted "Urgent". We are all volunteers. We will respond when we are available.

  • Chameleon, It doesn't make any difference if a post is noted "Urgent".
  • We are all volunteers.
  • We will respond when we are available.
  • Your essay topic is about Internet development and market penetration.
  • Writing and essay is different than writing a sentence.
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15 Answers
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Chameleon,
It doesn't make any difference if a post is noted "Urgent". We are all volunteers. We will respond when we are available.
Your essay topic is about Internet development and market penetration. Writing and essay is different than writing a sentence. Essay requires more than just basic grammar. To affectively deliver the view points, a writer must focus on the key points and exp
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If it is an essay,it would help if you told us the precise wording of the topic or question you are writing about.
eg Did your teacher just say 'Write about the internet in Nepal'?

If it is an article.it would help if you also explained to us why you are writing it. What do you want to
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I don't have much time but I can help you with the 2 paragraphs. I added some articles ('the') and omitted some words. I replaced some phrases with new phrases that I think are easier to understand.

"I cannot emphasize enough how much the Internet has become part of our daily lives. We can imagine the rapid development of internet services from the B&W era to the modern world. Those were
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isabelarazo It has been a couple of years when high-speed broadband internet took its height in the Nepalese Market.
Sorry, this caught my eye....I think " when " is incorrectly used and it should be replaced by "since" because " it has been " can't not be followed by "when". We should spell out "black and white". F
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You're right, thanks very much for the corrections.

Maybe this is better:
It has been a couple of years since high-speed broadband internet took its height in the Nepalese Market.

I'm guessing 'took its height' just means that it began 2 years ago? 'Spearheaded' may be applied there if that is the case.

Sorry, chamelion. Got to go. Good luck!
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Hello freak thank you for your effort. Its not an eassy its a ahort report about internet market in Nepal that i m going to post in a business forum among the audience and my clients.

Poor thing is that its expected growth is not that much satisfactory then the way it should be."
I wanted to talk about an estimated market growth of internernet services in Nepal which is pretty
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Hello clive. This is s short report about internet market growth in Nepal which i m going to post in forums to get the feedback and further ideas regarding the facts which i have not got yet in this business. Your help will be appreciated
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This is s short report about internet market growth in Nepal

I suggest that you need to review your overall structure, in terms of clarity and of paragraphs.

eg Is your intro paragraph good enough.

eg Do you have a separate body paragraph for each main point? (I think not
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Ok thank you. I WIll look in to it again.

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