0
Usenet Posted 20 years ago
Screenwriting
Da Vinci code quiz
Okay. Spoilers, I guess.
Question one:
You are the curator of the Louvre and you have just been shot and seriously wounded by an albino monk.
You would then:A) Scrawl on the floor in invisible ink a row of fibonacci numbers, an anagram the letters of which, when re-arranged spell out, "Da Vinci Mona Lisa, then go to the Mona Lisa and scrawl on it (also in invisible ink) So dark the con of Man which is also an anagram for Madonna of the Rocks, another Da Vinci painting, behind which you then hide your secret Priory of Sion bank vault key, then return to the place where you scrawled the original message, take off all your clothes, draw a big circle on the floor in your blood, then draw a pentacle on your chest in your blood, then lie down in the middle of the circle such that your genitals are concealed from view by a bright beam of light, spread out your arms and legs so that you resemble another Da Vinci drawings and then die.
Or
B) Call for an ambulance.
Question Two:
You are a member of the Catholic church and have just discovered that Jesus actually married Mary Magdalene and after the Crucifixion she went off to France (France?) where she gave birth to Jesus's daughter, thus presumably indicating that Jesus wasn't really divine because, as we all know, God can't impregnate a mortal woman (or can he?) and that since that time a mysterious secret society has been protecting the blood line of Christ since that time.
You would then:
A) Form your own secret society within the Church devoted to tracking down and killing the members of that other secret society, killing all of those Jesus descendants, and ruthless suppressing the secret at all costs and irrespective of the risk.
Or
B) You just wouldn't believe it and would simply go on about your business realizing, of course, that even if, by some incredibly remote twist of fate it were possible to connect somebody living today back to the literal Mary of Magdalene how in the world would anybody be able to make the leap from her to Jesus? Because somebody hinted at it in a rejected book of the Bible?
Question Three:
You are an incredibly wealthy Holy Grail expert who has come to believe that the Holy Grail actually represents the living blood line of Christ.
You would
A) Secretly infiltrate the evil Secret Catholic society, rising to one of the top Secret Catholic Society spots, thus using them to track down the actual location of the Grail i.e., the living descendant of Jesus, klling lots of nuns and curators and other innocent people along the way, so that, once the possessor of the bloodline was found, you could then convince him/her to reveal the truth so that everybody would stop being a Christian (and also presumably keeping him/her from getting killed by the Evil Catholics whom you were helping).
Or
B) You would get a life.
How did you do?
If you answered the questions above "A" then you must be a fan of the Da Vinci Code.
If you answered "B" then you must think this thing is just about the most enormously stupid piece of ***, not to mention the most enormous testament to the general lack of both intelligence and taste of the reading/viewing public since "In Search of Noah's Ark" hit the theatres.
NMS
Question one:
You are the curator of the Louvre and you have just been shot and seriously wounded by an albino monk.
You would then:A) Scrawl on the floor in invisible ink a row of fibonacci numbers, an anagram the letters of which, when re-arranged spell out, "Da Vinci Mona Lisa, then go to the Mona Lisa and scrawl on it (also in invisible ink) So dark the con of Man which is also an anagram for Madonna of the Rocks, another Da Vinci painting, behind which you then hide your secret Priory of Sion bank vault key, then return to the place where you scrawled the original message, take off all your clothes, draw a big circle on the floor in your blood, then draw a pentacle on your chest in your blood, then lie down in the middle of the circle such that your genitals are concealed from view by a bright beam of light, spread out your arms and legs so that you resemble another Da Vinci drawings and then die.
Or
B) Call for an ambulance.
Question Two:
You are a member of the Catholic church and have just discovered that Jesus actually married Mary Magdalene and after the Crucifixion she went off to France (France?) where she gave birth to Jesus's daughter, thus presumably indicating that Jesus wasn't really divine because, as we all know, God can't impregnate a mortal woman (or can he?) and that since that time a mysterious secret society has been protecting the blood line of Christ since that time.
You would then:
A) Form your own secret society within the Church devoted to tracking down and killing the members of that other secret society, killing all of those Jesus descendants, and ruthless suppressing the secret at all costs and irrespective of the risk.
Or
B) You just wouldn't believe it and would simply go on about your business realizing, of course, that even if, by some incredibly remote twist of fate it were possible to connect somebody living today back to the literal Mary of Magdalene how in the world would anybody be able to make the leap from her to Jesus? Because somebody hinted at it in a rejected book of the Bible?
Question Three:
You are an incredibly wealthy Holy Grail expert who has come to believe that the Holy Grail actually represents the living blood line of Christ.
You would
A) Secretly infiltrate the evil Secret Catholic society, rising to one of the top Secret Catholic Society spots, thus using them to track down the actual location of the Grail i.e., the living descendant of Jesus, klling lots of nuns and curators and other innocent people along the way, so that, once the possessor of the bloodline was found, you could then convince him/her to reveal the truth so that everybody would stop being a Christian (and also presumably keeping him/her from getting killed by the Evil Catholics whom you were helping).
Or
B) You would get a life.
How did you do?
If you answered the questions above "A" then you must be a fan of the Da Vinci Code.
If you answered "B" then you must think this thing is just about the most enormously stupid piece of ***, not to mention the most enormous testament to the general lack of both intelligence and taste of the reading/viewing public since "In Search of Noah's Ark" hit the theatres.
NMS
Top answer
com: [nq:1]If you answered the questions above "A" then you must be a fan of the Da Vinci Code. If ... [/nq] Yeah, "B" makes more sense, but as a book or movie, it's downright boring!
- com: [nq:1]If you answered the questions above "A" then you must be a fan of the Da Vinci Code.
- If ...
- [/nq] Yeah, "B" makes more sense, but as a book or movie, it's downright boring!
- ) cd The difference between immorality and immortality is "T".
- I like Earl Grey.
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
46 Answers
0
@reader1.panix.com:
[nq:1]If you answered the questions above "A" then you must be a fan of the Da Vinci Code. If ... general lack of both intelligence and taste of the reading/viewing public since "In Search of Noah's Ark" hit the theatres.[/nq]
Yeah, "B" makes more sense, but as a book or movie, it's downright boring! )
cd
The difference between immorality and immortality is
[nq:1]If you answered the questions above "A" then you must be a fan of the Da Vinci Code. If ... general lack of both intelligence and taste of the reading/viewing public since "In Search of Noah's Ark" hit the theatres.[/nq]
Yeah, "B" makes more sense, but as a book or movie, it's downright boring! )
cd
The difference between immorality and immortality is
00
[nq:1]Okay. Spoilers, I guess. Question one: You are the curator of the Louvre and you have just been shot and ... lack of both intelligence and taste of the reading/viewing public since "In Search of Noah's Ark" hit the theatres. NMS[/nq]
I answered "Akiva wrote it, Ron made it, must be good."
But thanks for the laughs. The movie was a good ride even at 2.5 hours.
I answered "Akiva wrote it, Ron made it, must be good."
But thanks for the laughs. The movie was a good ride even at 2.5 hours.
00
0
[nq:1]If you answered "B" then you must think this thing is just about the most enormously stupid piece of ... general lack of both intelligence and taste of the reading/viewing public since "In Search of Noah's Ark" hit the theatres.[/nq]
$77 million on the opening weekend.
What do you expect from a nation whose citizens spend good money touring the European sites mentioned in Brown's boo
$77 million on the opening weekend.
What do you expect from a nation whose citizens spend good money touring the European sites mentioned in Brown's boo
00
[nq:1]Okay. Spoilers, I guess. Question one: You are the curator of the Louvre and you have just been shot and ... legs so that you resemble another Da Vinci drawings and then die. Or B) Call for an ambulance.[/nq]
I know it's just a movie/supermarket novel and I should sit back and enjoy the ride, but questions like these were pounding in my head the whole time. I sat there imagining the firs
I know it's just a movie/supermarket novel and I should sit back and enjoy the ride, but questions like these were pounding in my head the whole time. I sat there imagining the firs
00
writing issue, that is!
It's very common for writers to construct elaborate, creaky plots instead of sitting down and asking "what's the most likely response from this person at this point." Because it's HARD WORK to make the most likely response interesting, fresh, surprising...
Misdirection does not = outlandish..
I fear having to read dozens of impossible-to-believe storie
00
[nq:2]Okay. Spoilers, I guess. Question one: You are the curator ... and then die. Or B) Call for an ambulance.[/nq]
[nq:1]I know it's just a movie/supermarket novel and I should sit back and enjoy the ride, but questions like these ... who will be able to make all these connections. Any questions?" "No, I think that pretty much covers it. Thanks."[/nq]
What really fascinates me about a lo
[nq:1]I know it's just a movie/supermarket novel and I should sit back and enjoy the ride, but questions like these ... who will be able to make all these connections. Any questions?" "No, I think that pretty much covers it. Thanks."[/nq]
What really fascinates me about a lo
00
[nq:1]there's a great docu on the History channel debunking the source material for Holy Blood Holy Grail. it's all a simple con by a specific person, and you can't shake that into people's head..[/nq]
Saw it. The apropos part of it is, once they ask the right people, it's no longer even a mystery. They had the skill to tell that the documents were forged, and had known about it for a long tim
Saw it. The apropos part of it is, once they ask the right people, it's no longer even a mystery. They had the skill to tell that the documents were forged, and had known about it for a long tim
00
[nq:1]What really fascinates me about a lot of posts on this is that as writers you don't comments on the ... and his other self-imposed demons, but what about the fact of how much money and readers Dan Brown has accumulated?[/nq]
A good point, but then would you rather be J.S. Bach or Telemann? Certainly the latter was much more successful in their day, but there's little question now that Ba
A good point, but then would you rather be J.S. Bach or Telemann? Certainly the latter was much more successful in their day, but there's little question now that Ba
00
Wait! Those three things were your problems with the movie?
I just didn't care - the movie was a faux thriller with absolutely no thrills at all, a lead character who is boring and passive, and the film has no suspense and every plot twist you can see from a mile away... and it's, what? two and a half hours long?
Wake me when it's over.
- Bill
I just didn't care - the movie was a faux thriller with absolutely no thrills at all, a lead character who is boring and passive, and the film has no suspense and every plot twist you can see from a mile away... and it's, what? two and a half hours long?
Wake me when it's over.
- Bill
0
Related Questions