Critique of my Personal Statement

Hello everybody,

Could you please review my Personal Statement considering the fact that I have already sent it / to the Unstitutions / but want to hear some feedback since a few foolish errors have been made. I know, I could have not allowed that to happen but it just happened and i want to know whether it is still good or these mistakes are crucial.

I am 22 years old and I have applied for accountancy undergraduate programmes in Scotland. I am also EU national but a citizen of a country outside Great Britain / so take into consideration that English is not my mother language/

Thank you very much in advance for your assistance.

=

My decision to study accounting is based on both my academic and employment experience. Having
discovered accounting as my passion and analyzed my past experiences, i created my career
vision to become highly reputable expert in the field of accountancy and to start my own
accounting business. To fulfill this vision i need to achieve three main goals. The first is
to complete a bachelor's degree in accountancy. The second is to obtain a master's degree
which will provide me with an advanced understanding of the accounting system. The third is to
learn as much as possible and gain as many as possible experiences in order to become either
CA or CMA qualified.

In Spain, / city X / I studied Business Administration and completed nine courses including
Economics, Writing Communication Skills and Financial Markets. My first experience regarding
accounting ended in failure. Through the retake course,however, I tripled my previous efforts
and thanks to my persistence and quick mind, I began to show an exceptional performance in
class and on my assignments. Moreover, the more I studied the accounting matter, the more
fascinated I became. I most enjoyed the comprehensive assignment that involved evaluating
real-world financial statements by various methods and techniques, including ratios analysis
and trend analysis. I achieved, on that paper, the maximum possible score and an overall grade
for the course of 90 percent.

The high tuition in Spain forced me to look for other study opportunities. I transferred to
University X, Germany and initiated an undergraduate programme, International
Business Management, taught in English language. I successfully completed eleven courses
including Accounting & Finance, Business English and Quantitative Business Analysis.
Throughout my studies, I found the Managerial Accounting course most appealing to me. I
especially enjoyed assignments related to identifying and evaluating production costs. This
course significantly reinforced my determination to develop myself in the field of accountancy
.

Having worked with with a construction firm in / country X / for six months, I developed strong
organizational and multi-tasking skills. I was responsible for designing bills of quantities
in which paying attention to details is of key importance. As an additional part of my job i
supervised a team of six employees and motivated them when the situation demanded. I believe
that the skills gained from this experience will help me to attain my goals.

In my spare time I dedicate a lot of time for personal development and have developed good
self-study habits. My other fancy lies in finance and one of the books I recently read, The
Intelligent Investor helped me to further my interest in accounting as it highlights the
importance of accounting information as crucial for financial investments. I like reading
philosophy books because it helps me to understand more about the world around me. Of great
interest to me are Plato's works and Ayn Rand's theory of objectivity. I also enjoy being
physically active, and always find time to sport and have trained professionally swimming
The most important reason to pursue an Accounting Degree is my genuine interest in the
subject. I would love to learn more about auditing and tax/various types of tax-accounting
technique/ as well as how the accounting information is used by managers for planning and
controlling activities, formulation strategies, decision taking and optimizing the use of
resources.

==