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Creativeguru Posted 18 years ago
Grammar

creating suspense....Is this correct?

Interested in new line of jewellery :

For Fashion Women

Very unique

Instant visual identification

Are you?
  

Top answer

Sorry, CG, but to me it just seems to be unrelated phrases.

— Mister Micawber

  • Sorry, CG, but to me it just seems to be unrelated phrases.
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5 Answers
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Sorry, CG, but to me it just seems to be unrelated phrases.
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I don't think that this is creating any suspense.
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How about the following...............
Build the strong international business network…A new line of jewellery:

For Fashion Women

Very unique

Instant visual identification


Are you interested?
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OK, with a few adjustments:

Build a strong international business network… A new line of jewellery...
For fashionable women

Unique

Instant visual identification
Ar
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