Covering letter for PhD application

Question

Hi everyone,I just finished a covering letter for my phd application. and I wonder if anyone can do a bit proof reading for me. I am Chinese, so it bet there will be some mistakes in the letter, and i also a bit worry about the structure and content of it.If anyone can help to point out the weakness of my letter, that would be very helpful and brilliant.thanks a lot!Thomas x______________________________________________________________________________________Dear Professor PI:I am writing in response to your advertisement for the PhD studentship in polymer materials at CCC University, as advertised on XXX.com. I am currently a master student at LLL University, and expect to complete my MSc degree requirements by September 2011. The PhD student position at CCC University extremely interests me, since it will be very delightful to work in a University with its science and engineering research programmes having a very outstanding reputation in industry.I do believe that my academic experience of undergraduate and master study have prepared me to be a highly qualified individual to carry on further study as a PhD student. I gained solid knowledge in basic science and relevant subjects. I studied Polymer Materials and Engineering at SSS University (SSS), which is one of the bestinstitutes in this field in China, after that I went to LLL University (LLL) in the UK to finish my final year of undergraduate, and I am doing my MSc degree project in UHMWPE/SWNTs composites at LLL.I also see myself as a passionate future researcher with capability of working independently and cooperatively. For independent working, I have the ability to effectively review previous researches in a systematic way, and accurately emphasize on the important parts relevant to my research. In addition, I have a sharp sensitivity my work. I am able to spot new phenomena, and correlate them to the structures of the materials and to the theories which explain them. For cooperative working, I highly value the importance of communication with supervisors, colleagues, and technicians. I am excited to learn from their experiences, and meanwhile I am always willing to help anyone, and share my experiences.I think I am a good fit to a PhD study for that I started my laboratory work very early and I have been always enjoying it. In addition to the routine laboratory excises during my study, the undergraduate project I have done and the one in process currently, I had spent my holiday working in Prof. YW’s laboratory at SSS sincethe my second year of undergraduate study, to support a research student in a project about photo-curing of epoxy resin. Also, I had a three-month internship in a company in my hometown, working on water-based solid lubricant to help reducing cost by offering protecting coatings for steel forging mould at high temperatures. During the internship, I was fascinated by the extraordinary effect of a thin surface in mould protection and energy saving. Therefore I truly look forward to doing your project at CCC University to continue my passion. This is also the reason why I personally prefer the projects funded by industry, I would love my work to be a contribution not only to academics but also to industry.I am enclosing my CV in the pages below. If you require any additional materials or information, I would be happy to supply them. Thanks for your consideration.Sincerely,Thomas

Innovati · Accepted Answer

Hello Thomas!

My name is also Thomas, but I'm from Canada

Here's my edit, changes in another colour:

Dear Professor PI:

I am writing in response to your advertisement for the PhD studentship in polymer materials at CCC University, as advertised on ***.com. I am currently a masters student at LLL University, and expect to complete my MSc degree requirements by September 2011. The PhD student position at CCC University is of extreme interest to me, since it would be delightful to work in a University whose science and engineering research programmes have such an outstanding reputation in the industry.

I believe that my existing academic experience as an undergraduate and masters student have prepared me to be a highly qualified individual to carry on further study as a PhD student. I have gained solid knowledge in basic science and a number of relevant subjects. I studied Polymer Materials and Engineering at SSS University (SSS), one of the foremost institutes in this field in China, after that I studied at LLL University (LLL) in the UK to finish my final year of undergraduate. I am currently working on my MSc degree project in UHMWPE/SWNTs composites at LLL.

I also see myself as a passionate future researcher with capability of working independently and cooperatively. For independent working, I have the ability to effectively review previous researches in a systematic way, and accurately emphasize on the important parts relevant to my research. In addition, I have a keen sensitivity to my work. I am quick to spot new phenomena, and correlate them to the structures of the materials and the theories which explain them. For cooperative working, I highly value the importance of communication with supervisors, colleagues, and technicians. I am eager to learn from their experiences, and meanwhile, I am always willing to help anyone by sharing my experiences.

I think I am a good fit as a PhD studdent because I always start my laboratory work very early and I have always enjoyed it. In addition to the routine laboratory exercises during my study, the undergraduate project I have comlpeted and the one I am currently working on, I have spent my holiday working in Prof. YW’s laboratory at SSS since the my second year of undergraduate study to support a research student in a project about the photo-curing of epoxy resin. Also, I had a three-month internship in a company in my hometown, working on water-based solid lubricant to help reduce cost by offering protective coatings for steel forging moulds at high temperatures. During the internship, I was fascinated by the extraordinary effect of a thin surface in mould protection and energy saving. Therefore I truly look forward to doing your project at CCC University to follow my passion. This is also the reason why I personally prefer the projects funded by industry, I would love my work to be a contribution not only to academics but also a benefit to the industry as well.

I am enclosing my CV below. If you require any additional materials or information, I would be happy to supply them. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Thomas

Now, a note about your English:

You are a native chinese speaker I am assuming? Most of the errors that you could have corrected were forgetting words like 'to' and 'the' in the middles of sentences, and with verbs (with you favouring Gerund, verbs that end in '-ing' )

Overall, your English is very good, and was easy enough to understand (even where it wasn't correct) and I am impressed at the ideas behind what you were trying to say - I have a feeling that even your original cover letter would have impressed the PHD committee, the corrected one is even better. You sound like you are genuinely passionate about helping others and advancing your field of study - which is exactly what they look for in a PHD student.

I took the opportunity to switch a few words so ones I felt fit better, and many ESL students might not have learned yet (like switching 'keen' for 'sharp'). Some of these words aren't commonly heard in everyday speaking, but they fit the formal tone of your letter better than the original words (which still communicate the same idea).

So Thomas, keep up the studying, keep up the English, and I can't wait to see 'Dr. Thomas' in a newspaper headline after a major breakthrough in Polymer Materials

I hope this helps, best of luck to you in your future studies!

Thomastw · Answer

Hi, Thomas,

Thanks a lot for the correction you've done to my covering letter.

In fact, I have already sent out the letter before I received your reply, however I asked an English friend here in the UK to help me correct the language mistakes.

I do like the version you put here, and I learnt a lot from it.

It is really so nice of you, and wish you good luck in your life.

Thanks!

Thomas xx

Covering letter for PhD application

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