0
Bump Posted 13 years ago
Business & Finance
Cover letter query - how to phrase it so it doesn't so weird?
I subsequently completed [name] module in my penultimate year (score in the 94th percentile), through which I have gained an in-depth theoretical knowledge, and I would cherish an opportunity to apply it to real world scenarios.
Am I trying to combine too many ideas into one sentence? Many thanks in advance
Am I trying to combine too many ideas into one sentence? Many thanks in advance
Top answer
Yeah, it's a little convoluted. I would rewrite it like this: I subsequently completed the [name] module in my penultimate year with a score in the 94th percentile. This module gave me in-depth theoretical knowledge that I would very much like the opportunity to apply to real-world scenarios.
- Yeah, it's a little convoluted.
- I would rewrite it like this: I subsequently completed the [name] module in my penultimate year with a score in the 94th percentile.
- This module gave me in-depth theoretical knowledge that I would very much like the opportunity to apply to real-world scenarios.
- One nit-pick: 'penultimate' is not really colloquial in this context.
- It depends what dialect of English your audience speaks but use something like second-last, or third (if it was four years long), or 'junior' for Americans.
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
4 Answers
0
Yeah, it's a little convoluted. I would rewrite it like this:
I subsequently completed the [name] module in my penultimate year with a score in the 94th percentile. This module gave me in-depth theoretical knowledge that I would very much like the opportunity to apply to real-world scenarios.
One nit-pick: 'penultimate' is not really colloquial in this context. It depends what d
I subsequently completed the [name] module in my penultimate year with a score in the 94th percentile. This module gave me in-depth theoretical knowledge that I would very much like the opportunity to apply to real-world scenarios.
One nit-pick: 'penultimate' is not really colloquial in this context. It depends what d
00
I have some concerns about your overall approach.
Let's pretend that I am the employer.
I'm no interested in 'modules', or in what year you completed them. I 'm not even really very interested in your marks, either. I'll assess your knowledge myself if I interview you.
Let's pretend that I am the employer.
I'm no interested in 'modules', or in what year you completed them. I 'm not even really very interested in your marks, either. I'll assess your knowledge myself if I interview you.
00
Thanks Clive for your input, I get what you mean. I'm a student though, and in the process of looking for an internship, so I think the employer won't expect me to have too much experience, and hence one way to convey my interest is by stating module I have chosen. Obviously I have also given some other reasons as to why I would like to work in that particular industry. Lastly, companies I'm apply
00
OK, you know the situation best.
But remember that the employer wants someone who can be useful to him.
Good luck!
But remember that the employer wants someone who can be useful to him.
Good luck!
0
Related Questions