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Anonymous Posted 12 years ago
Grammar
Cover Letter Correction
Will someone please help me out with my cover letter and help me with corrections and suggestions:
To whom it may concern,
My name is [name] and upon completion of two online courses I will be a graduate of the Automotive Service and Repair program at the [College] as of December 2014. I am currently seeking employment as a mechanical apprentice and I believe becoming an apprentice mechanic with your business will help me to get my career started off on the right path and provide me with the opportunity to continue my learning from skilled professionals.
From my work and educational experiences I now have good knowledge of the repair, preventative maintenance and tools of the skilled automotive trade. I am a very reliable and hard working person that produces timely completion of projects and has excellent problem solving skills. The Automotive Service and Repair program and my experience at my work practicum have provided me with skills in areas such as:
? Oil changes
? Changing and repairing tires
? Strong math skills
? Brake repair
? Preventative maintenance inspections
? Software skills
? Minor body repair
? Diagnostic equipment
? Inspecting gauges
? Basic welding
? Knowledge of shop tools
I am a very fast learner and am able to follow directions without any problems. I can also clean shop and organize tools to help create a good work environment. I am sure that I would be an excellent asset to your company and prove to be a valuable member of your team. I welcome the chance to meet with you and discuss an opportunity to demonstrate my skills I have acquired so far.
My current address is in [address] , however I will be moving to [address] where I will seek permanent employment as soon as possible. Please contact me either by phone at [number] or by email at .
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
To whom it may concern,
My name is [name] and upon completion of two online courses I will be a graduate of the Automotive Service and Repair program at the [College] as of December 2014. I am currently seeking employment as a mechanical apprentice and I believe becoming an apprentice mechanic with your business will help me to get my career started off on the right path and provide me with the opportunity to continue my learning from skilled professionals.
From my work and educational experiences I now have good knowledge of the repair, preventative maintenance and tools of the skilled automotive trade. I am a very reliable and hard working person that produces timely completion of projects and has excellent problem solving skills. The Automotive Service and Repair program and my experience at my work practicum have provided me with skills in areas such as:
? Oil changes
? Changing and repairing tires
? Strong math skills
? Brake repair
? Preventative maintenance inspections
? Software skills
? Minor body repair
? Diagnostic equipment
? Inspecting gauges
? Basic welding
? Knowledge of shop tools
I am a very fast learner and am able to follow directions without any problems. I can also clean shop and organize tools to help create a good work environment. I am sure that I would be an excellent asset to your company and prove to be a valuable member of your team. I welcome the chance to meet with you and discuss an opportunity to demonstrate my skills I have acquired so far.
My current address is in [address] , however I will be moving to [address] where I will seek permanent employment as soon as possible. Please contact me either by phone at [number] or by email at .
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Top answer
In general, I would say it's pretty good, but I'd like to point a few things: — In the first paragraph, I would write only "to continue learning" , instead of "to continue my learning" . I'm not sure, but I think "my learning" just sounds strange... — "Hard-working" is spelt with a hyphen.
- In general, I would say it's pretty good, but I'd like to point a few things: — In the first paragraph, I would write only "to continue learning" , instead of "to continue my learning" .
- I'm not sure, but I think "my learning" just sounds strange...
- — "Hard-working" is spelt with a hyphen.
- — I would personally rephrase the second sentence of your second paragraph like this: "I am a very reliable and hard-working person.
- " When you use the conjunction that , it forces you to continue the rest of your sentence in the third person; and, since it's referring to yourself, I think it just sounds strange when you talk about yourself in the third person.
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1 Answers
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In general, I would say it's pretty good, but I'd like to point a few things:
— In the first paragraph, I would write only "to continue learning", instead of "to continue my learning". I'm not sure, but I think "my learning" just sounds strange...
— "Hard-working" is spelt with a hyphen.
— I would personally rephrase the second sentence of your second paragrap
— In the first paragraph, I would write only "to continue learning", instead of "to continue my learning". I'm not sure, but I think "my learning" just sounds strange...
— "Hard-working" is spelt with a hyphen.
— I would personally rephrase the second sentence of your second paragrap
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