Could your please tell me whether or not the underlined words in my sentences below are acceptable?

Could your please tell me whether or not the underlined words in my sentences below are acceptable?

1. Collins, the principal, always makes sure that every new teacher will feel that she really cares about him/her. Every time a new teacher gets inside the classroom to teach, the principal is present inside at the back seat to take down notes of her observations.
2. The principal, wrote his observation of the teachers’ delivery of the lessons, interaction with the learners, mode of evaluation, and other aspects of instruction/teaching.