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The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005.

Summarise the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.

The bar chart compares the percentage of employed people from various countries around the world in 1995 and 2005.

Overall, the proportion of male employees in 2005 was the highest in all six countries while that of female employees was lowest. Another striking feature given from the bar chart is that the percentage of both genders increased from 1995 to 2005 in six related countries.

In 2005, the percentage of employment for male accounted for around 70% in Australia, the UK, New Zealand, the USA, increased to nearly 80% in Switzerland and that of in Iceland made up more than four-fifths while it accounted for 60% in six countries in 1995, apart from Iceland when it took up 70%. 28% of Australian employees and New Zealand were females in 1995 and went up to around 40% in 2005 while in the UK and the USA, 60% of employees were females and in 1995 were 50% and 45% respectively.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

An QuachThe graph below shows information on employment rates

Most of your phrases are poor or awkward English. You must use the correct name of the measurement, which is "employment rate". Substitutions are not good.

This graph has a lot of information, so you must learn to be selective when reporting the data. Do not just copy the numbers from the graph to your essay. Select the main features and significant differences.

The clustered bar chart compares the percentage of employed people (You did not mention that it showed males separately from females.) from various countries (How many? What are they?) around the world in 1995 and 2005. (Your first paragraph is inadequate.)

Overall, the ~~proportion of male employees~~ male employment rate was always higher than the female unemployment rate in all these countries. In addition, the employment rates increased from 1995 to 2005. ~~in 2005 was the highest in all six countries while that of female employees was lowest.~~ ~~Another striking feature given from the bar chart is that~~ (Verbose. Those words give no information at all.) the ~~percentage of both genders increased from 1995 to 2005~~ in six related countries. (That is not a good expression. How are these countries related? )

In 2005, the percentage of employment for male (Use the correct phrase: male employment rate - it is in the essay description.) accounted for (wrong phrase) around 70% in Australia, the UK, New Zealand, the USA, increased (Increase is wrong. Increase means the same value got larger over time.) to nearly 80% in Switzerland and that of in Iceland made up more than four-fifths while it accounted for 60% in six countries in 1995, apart from Iceland when it took up 70%. 28% of Australian employees and New Zealand were females in 1995 and went up to around 40% in 2005 while in the UK and the USA, 60% of employees were females (wrong phrase) and in 1995 were 50% and 45% respectively.

Sample essay: (~190 words)

The clustered bar graph compares the employment rates for men and women for two years, 1995 and 2005 in six countries. These were Australia, New Zealand, Iceland, Switzerland, the UK and the USA.

Overall, the men had a higher rate of employment than the women in every country in both of these years. In addition, both rates increased from 1995 to 2005. Only two countries, Switzerland and the UK, had a majority of their women in the workforce in both years.

In detail, the lowest employment rates were for females in Australia and New Zealand in 1995, between 25 and 30%, The highest rates were for males in Switzerland and Iceland in 2005, 78% and 82% respectively. The country with the largest gap between the male and female rates was New Zealand, more than 30%, in both years. Iceland also had similar differences. In contrast, UK had more gender equality in 1995 than any of the countries; having values of 55% and 50% for men and women, respectively. But this gap grew to 8% in 2005, even though both rates were higher. The gap was nearly as narrow in Switzerland, about 10% for both years.

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