Could you please review my ielts writing task 2 essay

Economic progress is often used to measure a country’s success. However, some people believe that other factors are more important.

What other factors should also be considered when measuring a country’s success?

Do you think one factor is more important than others?

Nowadays, there is a common belief among people that the definition of a successful country is totally based on the economic prosperity of this country. However, I agree with the view of other people about that there are still various factors contributing to the success of a country. All the factors are equally important and they have an integral part in the development of society.

It is understandable for people to have a belief that the economic progress is important in measuring the success of a country. However, there are many elements beside the economy which also have a tremendous contribution to the success of a country. First, the health service is one of the most vital factors because it helps residents have an overall look about their health conditions. Furthermore, taking a regular check-up could also reduce the potential health risks which lead to many degenerative illnesses, such as dementia and Alzheimer. Second, the education system is also an effective measurement to decide whether a country is successful or not. Schools are where the shapers of nation’s tomorrow study and explore their potentials which help them become useful adults in the future. Finally, the country that has an enormous gap between the rich and the poor can not be considered as successful.

The factors mentioned above are all equally essential for the country’s success. It is because the successful country has to had a rapid economic development so that all the citizens could meet their basis human needs. Furthermore, the public health services can not be ignored because it plays a vital role in the society. It helps maintain the residents’ health and protect them from other health risks. Finally, the education system is to make sure all children have chances to study and apply the knowledge gained into practice. The lack of one of these factors above could have a devastating effect on the country.

In conclusion, besides the economic progress, governments need to shift their focus to other aspect of the community to help the country have a comprehensive development instead of only economic prosperity.