Could you please review my ielts writing task 2 essay

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.

In recent years, the rapid development of technology make our lives become more comfortable than ever. But there some beliefs among people that the technology development could lead to the lost of traditional cultures and people think that technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. In my opinion, I partly agree with this statement. However, I think that technology could also be used to preserve traditional cultures.

On one hand, the technology has made a lot of impact on our society. Besides all the benefits technology bring to us, such as entertainment, improving our level of job performance and helping us in medical treatments, there are also negative effect too. For example, young people nowadays rarely spend their time learning about history or the value of traditional culture. But they tend to play video games or watch movies. Furthermore, children have access to the internet too early could affect their cognitive development. Besides, the teenagers could be attracted to the cultural diversity on internet and forget about the tradition of their own country.

On the other hand, the government and educational organization could also use the technology to educate teenager and instill in them the value of national culture. The broadcaster could use technology to create TV shows and movies about national history which appeal the attention of young people instead of the boring documentary films. They could also make the most of internet’s features and use it as a tool to popularize traditional value to other countries. Finally, the establishment of virtual museum could be the most effective way that draws the attention of young people and make them appreciate the traditional values handed down by the ancestors.

In conclusion, I do admit that the technology has some negative effects on our society and it could be a threat to the existence of traditional cultures. However, I think that both technology and traditional cultures could co-exist, and technology could be used as an effective tool to preserve our traditional values.