Could you please review my ielts writing task 2 essay

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenager about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

There are arguments among people that the ex-prisoners who have become good citizens are the most suitable person to share their experiences to teenager about the danger of committing a crime. In my opinion, I totally agree with this statement.

I believe that there are various reasons to choose the people who were ex-prisoners for this positions. First, boys and girls in their adolescence are usually indifferent and they hardly listen to their parents. They might be influenced by bad people or by violent movies and video games, to behave inappropriately. They could not see the consequences of their actions. Therefore, I believe that the person who used to be a prisoner is capable of telling these teenagers about do’s and don’ts. It is because they had undergone all the horrible events in their past, and they also knew the outcome and dangers of committing a crime. Their true stories could educate teenagers and prevent them from involving in illegal activities. Furthermore, it is more persuasive if teenagers can listen to the true stories of the ex-prisoners than listen to boring advices from parents.

In fact, I believe that the sharing activities not only benefits teenagers but also the ex-prisoners. I think that these people have been through a lot of difficulties to overcome their past and guilty feelings. It could be a good chance for them to share thoughts and it could help relieve their burden in the past. Moreover, it could also way for them to dedicate to the society and compensate for their mistakes.

In conclusion, I completely agree that the persons who have overcome their past and become good residents are the best people to educate teenager about the dangers of crime.