Could you please review my ielts writing task 2 essay

Extreme sport such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extend do you agree or disagree to this view?

In recent years, extreme sports have become popular. Some people argue that these sports are dangerous, therefore they should be prohibited. I totally disagree with this perspective because I think these sports are not too dangerous and they should not be banned.

In fact, I believe that these extreme sports, such as sky diving, skiing or bungee jumping, are one of the most important factors that attract tourists. Nowadays, more and more tourist companies spend a lot of money on the facilities and training staffs to increase customers’ satisfaction when they participate in these activities. As a result, the number of people attracted to these sport increases significantly. It also brings a huge benefit to the tourist companies and the local businesses. Besides, everyone who wants to try the sky diving always have to sign up for a lesson and there is always a well-trained staff with them whenever they do the extreme sports, so I think it is not as dangerous as people believe.

Furthermore, I think that these extreme sports may seem dangerous to some people but the other find it exciting and it is a chance for them to overcome fear and explore their own limits. Everyone participating in these activities are all over 18, they are adults and they can take responsibility for their own actions and decisions. We should all be free to choose how to spend our leisure time as long as we understand the risks.

In conclusion, I would argue that people should be free to enjoy extreme sports as long as they are aware of the risks and take appropriate precautions.