Could you please review my ielts essay task 1?

Question

The graph illustrates data about the different components of air toxins in the UK over a fifthteen -year period between 1990 and 2005.

Overall, there was a remarkable downward trend in the number of contaminants in the air. What stands out from the graph is that industry made up the vast majority for air pollutants in this period.

Looking at the details, in first 6 years, transport witnessed a moderate increase in the number of pollution in the air which soared by 0.2 million tonnes. By contrast, air pollutants with respect to the manufacturing field suddenly decreased from 5.5 to 3 million tonnes. There was a sharp drop in the figure of air toxins from residents which was reduced by half.

In the later period, air contaminants from industry noticeably went down by 1 million tonnes. There was an unstable change in the number of air pollutants from other sources. Air toxins from transport hit a bottom in 1999 and then steadily went up to 1 million tonnes. The same year saw a slight increase in the quantity of air pollutants from households and gradually fell to 0.2 million tonnes next.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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Linh Harty · Answer

The graph illustrates data about the different components of air toxins in the UK over a fifthteen -year period between 1990 and 2005.

Overall, there was a remarkable downward trend in the number of contaminants in the air. What stands out from the graph is that industry made up the vast majority for air pollutants in this period.

Looking at the details, in first 6 years, transport witnessed a moderate increase in the number of pollution in the air which soared by 0.2 million tonnes. By contrast, air pollutants with respect to the manufacturing field suddenly decreased from 5.5 to 3 million tonnes. There was a sharp drop in the figure of air toxins from residents which was reduced by half.

In the later period, air contaminants from industry noticeably went down by 1 million tonnes. There was an unstable change in the number of air pollutants from other sources. Air toxins from transport hit a bottom in 1999 and then steadily went up to 1 million tonnes. The same year saw a slight increase in the quantity of air pollutants from households and gradually fell to 0.2 million tonnes next.

Linh Harty · Answer

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Sample essay

Paragraph 1 describes the graph, including how many curves there are, what was measured, the categories for each curve, and the time frame. This can be done in two sentences. Notice that I used an abbreviation for the units of measure. This helps a lot to reduce repetition in the body paragraphs.

The graph compares the amounts of air pollutants in millions of tonnes (MT) released by three sectors (industry, transport and households) in the UK over the fifteen-year period 1990-2005. It also plots the total amounts.

Paragraph 2 follows the instruction "select and report the main features." I wrote about three main features, and also did some comparisons.

Overall, the total declined significantly over the period, mainly due to industry. That sector was also the largest contributor to the total. Transport showed little change, and in percentage terms, households went down the most, but they were only a minor proportion of the whole.

Paragraph 3 gives some details, but focuses on comparisons. You will earn more points by doing some very simple arithmetic and combining categories. I chose to compute the percentage that the sectors contributed to the total. This was very easy, since the total is plotted on the graph -you do not have to sum them up yourself.

In detail, at the start, there were 7 MT of total air pollutants, three-quarters of which (5.5 MT) were from industry. The remainder was equally divided between transport and households (0.9 MT each). The major decrease in industrial pollution came between 1993 and 1996, when it was measured at 3 MT. Transport had actually gone up slightly to 1 MT and household emissions halved to around 0.5 MT. From 1996 to 2005, households contributed less and less, ending at about 0.2 MT. That was about 6% of the total, which was 3.2 MT. Industry contributed about 62% (2 MT) and transport the remaining 32%. (1 MT).

Could you please review my ielts essay task 1?

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