Could you please review ielts writing task 1 essay

The picture illustrates the process of collecting weather information to produce reliable forecasts for people in Australia.

It can be seen from the diagram that there are four main stages of the process, beginning with collecting incoming information and ending with the broadcast.

At the beginning of the process, the incoming information on weather is collected by three different ways which is satellite, radar and drifting buoy. In the analysis and forecasting stage, the data received by satellite can be demonstrated as a satellite photo or it could be passed to radar station and presented on the radar screen. Moreover, these data can also be collected by drifting buoy and analyzed to provide synoptic chart. Next, computer gathers all the information to prepare for the broadcast. Finally, the weather broadcasts are delivered to the public through three different methods which is TV, radio and recorded announcement.