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Anonymous Posted 11 years ago
Letter Writing
Could you please proofread my motivational letter please?
Right after high school I entered a medical academy. It took me a semester to realize that medicine was not my calling and I needed to find another way to help people. The exams I passed in school let me enter Computer Science program next year. When I gained enough knowledge in IT technology I realized what it can be useful for.
My mom is a doctor and we talk about her work a lot at home. That makes me aware of current problems in medicine and healthcare in our country and I realize that many of them can be handled using IT.
Russian Federation has huge sparsely populated areas, with lots of settlements with a small population size and a small number of highly qualified medical staff. That makes it hard to provide high-quality medical care there. Using multimedia transmission, it is possible to connect a paramedic with the nearest hospital in real time. Modern satellite technology lets transmit huge amounts of data. This makes possible to join forces of a person with basic medical knowledge from a most distant village and a professor to make a right diagnosis. Through transmitting multimedia data, it is possible to reach real optimization of medical care of the whole country.
I would like to have a leading role an IT department in the healthcare field to make it possible to develop modern IT technologies in medicine. Through improving the health of citizens, I will contribute in the development of my country and the world.
Germany is one of the leaders in the technical development and multicultural country with as much as 12% international students. It is also very safe and socially oriented. Those are the main factors that drew my attention when I was choosing the country to study in. RWTH Aachen University is one of the top 200 universities in the world, top 100 in Computer Science and the largest technical university in Germany. It is also known for its diverse environment and promotion of equality. I’ve chosen it also because of the program that has the whole variety of subjects in the area of media technologies that will allow me to progress in achieving my goal.
The educational system in Russia is different from European. There is a fixed program that covers a variety of topics. It provides a solid foundation in many fields of computer science. European education is different is a way that you can gain knowledge in a specific area that is most useful for your career. Integrating knowledge from both educational systems will let me see problems broadly and notice where my skills are most useful.
At the end, I would like to point out that despite this scholarship being very competitive, I am convinced that my knowledge and motivation give me an advantage in being chosen for it. I am aware that I might face a lot of challenges during my studies and I’m ready to solve them in order to obtain the degree.
My mom is a doctor and we talk about her work a lot at home. That makes me aware of current problems in medicine and healthcare in our country and I realize that many of them can be handled using IT.
Russian Federation has huge sparsely populated areas, with lots of settlements with a small population size and a small number of highly qualified medical staff. That makes it hard to provide high-quality medical care there. Using multimedia transmission, it is possible to connect a paramedic with the nearest hospital in real time. Modern satellite technology lets transmit huge amounts of data. This makes possible to join forces of a person with basic medical knowledge from a most distant village and a professor to make a right diagnosis. Through transmitting multimedia data, it is possible to reach real optimization of medical care of the whole country.
I would like to have a leading role an IT department in the healthcare field to make it possible to develop modern IT technologies in medicine. Through improving the health of citizens, I will contribute in the development of my country and the world.
Germany is one of the leaders in the technical development and multicultural country with as much as 12% international students. It is also very safe and socially oriented. Those are the main factors that drew my attention when I was choosing the country to study in. RWTH Aachen University is one of the top 200 universities in the world, top 100 in Computer Science and the largest technical university in Germany. It is also known for its diverse environment and promotion of equality. I’ve chosen it also because of the program that has the whole variety of subjects in the area of media technologies that will allow me to progress in achieving my goal.
The educational system in Russia is different from European. There is a fixed program that covers a variety of topics. It provides a solid foundation in many fields of computer science. European education is different is a way that you can gain knowledge in a specific area that is most useful for your career. Integrating knowledge from both educational systems will let me see problems broadly and notice where my skills are most useful.
At the end, I would like to point out that despite this scholarship being very competitive, I am convinced that my knowledge and motivation give me an advantage in being chosen for it. I am aware that I might face a lot of challenges during my studies and I’m ready to solve them in order to obtain the degree.
Top answer
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to outline my motivation for applying to study at RWTH Aachen University. After finishing high school, I decided to study IT, and I became particularly interested in the application of IT in the field of medical care. My mom mother is a docto r, and we talk about her work a lot at home.
- Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to outline my motivation for applying to study at RWTH Aachen University.
- After finishing high school, I decided to study IT, and I became particularly interested in the application of IT in the field of medical care.
- My mom mother is a docto r, and we talk about her work a lot at home.
- That makes has made me aware of current problems in medicine and healthcare in our countr y, and I realize that many of them can be handled solved using IT.
- The Russian Federation has huge sparsely populated areas, with lots of settlements with a small population size and a small number of highly qualified medical staff.
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4 Answers
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Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to outline my motivation for applying to study at RWTH Aachen University.
After finishing high school, I decided to study IT, and I became particularly interested in the application of IT in the field of medical care. Mymom mother is a doctor, and we talk about her work a lot at home. That makes
I am writing to outline my motivation for applying to study at RWTH Aachen University.
After finishing high school, I decided to study IT, and I became particularly interested in the application of IT in the field of medical care. My
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Thank you very much!
Are you sure I should omit the year at medical academy? Shouldn't I put it on CV? If don't is it necessery to explain a gap between school and university?
Are you sure I should omit the year at medical academy? Shouldn't I put it on CV? If don't is it necessery to explain a gap between school and university?
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charlie42Are you sure IYes, it would just complicate your story.shouldcan omit the year at medical academy?
charlie42Shouldn't I put it on my CV?It's not necessary.
charlie42If I don't, is it necessary to explain a gap between school and university?
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