COULD YOU PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME? I REALLY NEED A HELP

Could you please check my below biography letter and correct my mistakes ?

Thank you so much in advance

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I was born in Kesan county in Edirne, in 1951 October 24th and as my family moved to Istanbul just after i was born, i was raised in Istanbul

I graduated from Istanbul Men College. I learnt German language in proficiency while i was studying at this school.

After i studied at Bogazici University in English preparatory class for little time i became a student at ITU university at Electrical department. I graduated from Electronics and communication department in June 1977.

I worked at “Incekara AS” as a service engineer for three years and a half.

I did my military service as a Lieutenant at Naval forces . During this time I worked on the repair of the machine and shot control systems of the assault boats

We ,three friends, established an import, representation and service company which was called “Tekser Koll. Ltd”. I was responsible for the service department of this company for 20 years.

I got an education for XRF and XRD machines at Rigaku, JAPAN two times for one month.

when i got older, i understood i could not handle with intense work pace for engineering anymore I decided to retire accordingly

After spending some boring time after my retirement i launched my career in translation of instruction manuals for machines. I have been translating English and German instruction manuals into Turkish language for 10 years