Could you please mark my writing task 2 for ielts exam ? Here is the topic :" Many people today are worried about the children using video games. What problems might these games cause for children and society as a whole? How could these problems...

Video games nowadays, which are drastically becoming more and more familiar with children because of the variety of game genres they provide, is causing prominent anxiety and concern of parents due to the downsides they might lead to. In my opinion, great methods could be adopted in order to improve the situation.
Such too much exposure to video games uses up a lot of time that could be effectively spent on studying some more academic subjects or participating in the society contributing activities. Furthermore, video games also cause many health problems, from eye strain to insomnia and deeply obsessions which reduce children's ability to stay focused and worsen their brainpower or even worse, make children neglect their duties to themselves and to the society by injecting illegally bad thoughts into their heads. For example, in Vietnam, many researchs online which survey on children who are addicted to video games, indicate that the number of crimes are similarly rising together with the number of children who take violent games.
Turning to the possible solutions, it's the adult's responsibilities to help the children to overcome the addiction to video games. Parents, for instance, had better minimise the amount of time spent on video games and maximise external stimulations by encouraging the conditions to expose to outdoor activities. Teachers or tutors ought to educate children frequently about the downsides and the horribly unexpected consequences of spending too many hours on video games.
All in all, as can be seen from the true world, video games, athough there are a few educational ones, ought not to be encouraged for dominant use. I highly recommend not to let children have many chances of being exposed to video games and instead indeed, motivating them to join public works, is an incredibly useful idea.