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MikoK Posted 12 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Could you please help me with my text?
I'm preparing for my TOEFL test, and I'm having a hard time finding someone to correct my writing task. So I'm wondering if anyone on this website could help me with it? I would be very, very thankful for your help!
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TPO 31
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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In response to the question, I do believe that people are less happy or satisfied with their lives today than people were in the past. The world is changing every seconds, people's desire for newer and better things are also getting stronger, and the constant competition and comparison between each other doesn't help to better the situation. On the other hand, people are more closely connected with each other than ever before thanks to the internet, which should be a good thing, but also causes some troubles.
The Buddha once said that life is misery, and the only way to escape from our miserable lives is to cut our attachment to everything. This famous argument basically points out that our unhappiness comes from our desire for worldly stuff. I am not a buddhist, but Buhhda's argument makes a lot of sense to me. One of the problems with our modern society is that it's changing and evolving too quickly, many new developments emerge over night. This triggers people's desire for blind possession. Just think about the example of Iphone. The Apple company comes out with a new and better type of Iphone every year, and people are rushing to get the newest model no matter if they actually need it or not. In some parts of the world, owing an Iphone has become a symbol for personal fortune, which leads to a lot of question. Those people who cannot afford an Iphone sometimes feel belittled by those who own an Iphone. It may seem quite crazy but very true.
Secondly, people now carry much more burden and expectations on their shoulders that they did in the older days. This is especially true in some developing countries like China. Being a Chinese myself, I witnessed how living cost has been raising each year, and this phenomenon does not restrict itself to the mega cities like Beijing or Shanghai. Even for children, the pressure and expectations from their parents and the society is getting higher and higher. The Chinese parents are very keen on good education, thus leads to the establishment of numerous elite schools and kindergartens, which do not just require a huge amount of tuition fee, but also have an strict examination system. Children are forced to study mathematics, music, painting and other skills from a very early age on. This does not just lead to the result that the Chinese children are unhappy, but also their parents.
On a personal level, I also believe that the active social network nowadays also leads to meaningless competition among people, which then leads to unnecessary unhappiness. Nowadays, people are sharing their lives on the internet all the time, and at first, it seems to be very appealing too. Social network like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Weibo, which is the Chinese version of Twitter, are fun to use and very practical for connecting with friends and sharing interesting moments of your life with them. However, there has been a recent scientific study which shows that the overusing of social networks may actually leads to unhappiness, because people tend to show their best sides on social networks. This makes other people's lives become seemingly glamorous compared to our own mundane daily lives. People may get caught in the blind jealousy of other people's lives and become unaware of the fact that other people have their problems as well.
To sum up, I think people are less happier today than they were in the past, because we put way too much pressure on ourselves. Maybe we should stop complaining about our seemingly tedious lives for one day and rediscover how wonderful it actually is.
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TPO 31
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
-----
In response to the question, I do believe that people are less happy or satisfied with their lives today than people were in the past. The world is changing every seconds, people's desire for newer and better things are also getting stronger, and the constant competition and comparison between each other doesn't help to better the situation. On the other hand, people are more closely connected with each other than ever before thanks to the internet, which should be a good thing, but also causes some troubles.
The Buddha once said that life is misery, and the only way to escape from our miserable lives is to cut our attachment to everything. This famous argument basically points out that our unhappiness comes from our desire for worldly stuff. I am not a buddhist, but Buhhda's argument makes a lot of sense to me. One of the problems with our modern society is that it's changing and evolving too quickly, many new developments emerge over night. This triggers people's desire for blind possession. Just think about the example of Iphone. The Apple company comes out with a new and better type of Iphone every year, and people are rushing to get the newest model no matter if they actually need it or not. In some parts of the world, owing an Iphone has become a symbol for personal fortune, which leads to a lot of question. Those people who cannot afford an Iphone sometimes feel belittled by those who own an Iphone. It may seem quite crazy but very true.
Secondly, people now carry much more burden and expectations on their shoulders that they did in the older days. This is especially true in some developing countries like China. Being a Chinese myself, I witnessed how living cost has been raising each year, and this phenomenon does not restrict itself to the mega cities like Beijing or Shanghai. Even for children, the pressure and expectations from their parents and the society is getting higher and higher. The Chinese parents are very keen on good education, thus leads to the establishment of numerous elite schools and kindergartens, which do not just require a huge amount of tuition fee, but also have an strict examination system. Children are forced to study mathematics, music, painting and other skills from a very early age on. This does not just lead to the result that the Chinese children are unhappy, but also their parents.
On a personal level, I also believe that the active social network nowadays also leads to meaningless competition among people, which then leads to unnecessary unhappiness. Nowadays, people are sharing their lives on the internet all the time, and at first, it seems to be very appealing too. Social network like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Weibo, which is the Chinese version of Twitter, are fun to use and very practical for connecting with friends and sharing interesting moments of your life with them. However, there has been a recent scientific study which shows that the overusing of social networks may actually leads to unhappiness, because people tend to show their best sides on social networks. This makes other people's lives become seemingly glamorous compared to our own mundane daily lives. People may get caught in the blind jealousy of other people's lives and become unaware of the fact that other people have their problems as well.
To sum up, I think people are less happier today than they were in the past, because we put way too much pressure on ourselves. Maybe we should stop complaining about our seemingly tedious lives for one day and rediscover how wonderful it actually is.
Top answer
MikoK less happier I immediately found this at the end of your essay. Please proofread carefully before posting.
- MikoK less happier I immediately found this at the end of your essay.
- Please proofread carefully before posting.
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3 Answers
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MikoK less happierI immediately found this at the end of your essay. Please proofread carefully before posting.
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You either put a suffix on the end of a word like "happy" to modify it or you can put a modifying word in front of it, but not both. ie happy can be modified to become happier or more happy or less happy. Or you can put a prefix in front of happy to make it the opposite: unhappy which, in turn, can be modified to more unhappy or unhappier.
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