Could you please help me with my essay in IELTS Writing task 2

Topic:

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

My essay:

Some people argue that children should not be allowed to use phones in school, whereas others argue that children have the permission to use their phones. In my opinion, I would argue that it is better to let children use their phones during the school day because it can bring a lot of advantages.
The option to ban children from using their phones is attractive for several reasons. Using phones in the class may get children distracted from the lessons on the board. And using phones consistently can not let children attend in some real activities, which is useful for their physical health and intellect, such as basketball, swimming, social clubs, etc. Nowadays, some children using phones too much in the school becomes short-sighted or even blind. There are also other children get mental breakdown and have fights with their friends just because of playing violent games on the phones too much. People, especially adults, have the right to not allow children to use their phones during school days.
On the other hand, I believe that it is more beneficial for children to use their phones in school. Firstly, children can be aware of the emergency situation so they bring along their phones. For instance, a friend of them get fainted but no one has a phone to call off the ambulance right away, but children can help with their phones. Secondly, using phones is good for children's research for the assignments or projects. Me and my friends, as an example, we always use the help of internet on our phone to search for some crucial information to do the projects in the class. Using phones during school days is not bad if children know how to manage the time they use and the source of information they need. If there is somebody to help them, for instance, it could be their teachers, children can make a lot of good progress in their studies.
This is still a controversial problem in our life. But for the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that children should be allowed to use their phones during school days because there are a lot of benefits when using phones.

Thank you so much!