Could you please help me to correct this essay. Thank you

Topic: people should look after their health as a duty to the society they live in rather than only for their own personal benefit. To what extent do agree or disagree?

My answer essay:

In recent years residents' health is being highly prioritized by most countries. Some people think that their health should be considered as a personal interest rather than the responsibility of a citizen in their own society. I completely disagree with this idea because I believe that the individualism should never be placed above the socialism in the modern world.

In the globalized era, going alongside with the development of high technology which assists to reduce the distance between individuals is the risks of increasing in the substantial number of infectious diseases. In the scale of individual, the family's members will have a different perspective if their breadwinner is fallen into the state of illness by his or her colleague who was not seen their health as a social affair. A considerable amount of money has to pay for treatments instead of providing for educating their children. From the societal level, the expenditure in affordable healthcare services is exorbitant. For example, diabetes disease originates from the sedentary lifestyle of most people in the developed countries, which causes billions of dollars in governments' budget for medical researches.

Health is the valuable treasure of most nations. Governments should take responsibility for maintaining the healthy lifestyle and strengthening physical endurance among citizens by promoting the sport activities. For example, Universities in the US usually offer a full scholarship for senior students in the high schools who have an extraordinary talent in a specific sport. By subsidizing for those things, the government could save a great deal of taxes which could invest in welfare benefits such as unemployment and schools.

In conclusion, having a good health is beneficial for both individuals and the society, people should take care themselves as a effective way to relieve the heavy burden of nations.