Could you please help me mark my writing task 1 in the IELTS test? I honestly appreciate that.

Given are the pie chart which illustrates the proportion of five-age-group people coming to a cinema in a local area in 2000.A quick look at the graph reveals that the main customers are 55 years old and older while people ranging from 31 to 45 years old have less intention to go the the film centre.Over a half of visitors came to this local cinema were 55 years old and even older (51%) while the percentage of 31-45-year-old group was only 5%, the lowest respectively. On the second rank was teenagers’ figure, which was under a quarter, 21%. Following that, people who were between 16 and 20 years old and came to that film centre made up 15% in the total. On top of that, young people in there twenties just went to the cinema with the portion was 8%. Thus, it is obvious that no matter how many age levels in a above-divided group, the percent of people going to the film centre doesn’t follow a significant trend.