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Tranloanie Posted 9 years ago
Grammar

Could you please help me correct this IELTS writing and score it for me? I need band 5.5 . Thank you very much!

Topic: It is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

It is generally believed that living in dormitory is much more benefits for university students than living with their family. I strongly agree with this.

On the one hand, staying with parents reap several benefits for university students. First, money for rent dormitory apartment will not a big problem as they live in their own house. For example, a university student who live far away from their family and have to rent a flat which cost him about 100 dollar per month while a student who stay with their family do not spend money on hiring expenses. Moreover, living in their own house with a mass carefulness from family members will make them feel safe and comfortable with all modern conveniences such as air conditioner, Internet access, washing machine.

On the other hand, living in campus of the university bring in plenty of advantages for university students. First, it is likely that they have more chances to live independently as they have to deal with cooking, washing or cleaning all by themselves. Therefore, this is a vast opportunities for them to learn how to do these kind of chores. Moreover, staying in campus allow them have more time to participate in outdoor activities with their friends like charity, voluntary, camping. As the result, they can gain more soft skills such as community sense or solving problems ability in real life situation. Finally, instead of living with their parents, students easier use facilities at school like library, gym or swimming pool if they stay in campus.

In conclusion, for the reason mention above, I strongly argue that living in campus will bring more various advantages for students than living with their family.

  

Top answer

I read the criteria for scoring in the different bands, but I have no experience scoring. Based on what I read, it probably would score an overall 5. The cohesion and coherence score is higher (6) because you have a logical arrangement of clear paragraphs with main points.

  • I read the criteria for scoring in the different bands, but I have no experience scoring.
  • Based on what I read, it probably would score an overall 5.
  • The cohesion and coherence score is higher (6) because you have a logical arrangement of clear paragraphs with main points.
  • Lexical resource and grammatical range are lower (5).
  • The vocabulary is adequate.
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1 Answers
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I read the criteria for scoring in the different bands, but I have no experience scoring.

Based on what I read, it probably would score an overall 5. The cohesion and coherence score is higher (6) because you have a logical arrangement of clear paragraphs with main points.

Lexical resource and grammatical range are lower (5). The vocabulary is adequate. But there are many grammat

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