Could you please help me correct my essay and give me your explains about my mistakes

Dear teachers,

Could you please help me correct my essay and give me your explains about my mistakes.

Thanks for your support

Topic : many people are afraid to leave their homes because of the fear of crime. Some believe that more actions should be taken to prevent crime. Others feel that little can be done. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

One of the burning problems today is that people are scared to go outside because of crime. While Some people say that the government should have little actions to take the problem, I believe that more measures should consider solving problem.

On the one hand, some people agree that minor actions are available to solve the problem. Firstly, the social media extensively cover negative news. Both television and the internet always contain crime news. this leads to people’s fear. People have obsessed the news and they are afraid of being victimized by crime. Secondly, the cause of crime is the level of poverty and unemployment. Solving the problem needs to a long time. Therefore, people will not receive effective result immediately. Hence, people usually worried when they go the outside.

On the other hand, I agree that the government should have more measures to deal with the crime for reducing people’ s fear. Once, being scaring of outside of their home is a sign of unsecured society. If policemen patrol more frequent in local communities to protect citizens, people can reduce their fear. Moreover, the crime issues are linked with the level of poverty and unemployment. Because of poverty, some people lack condition to go to school and lead to no job for them and becoming a crime to make ends meet is easier than getting a job. The solution for the problem is that government should cover tuition fees for underprivileged family to encourage them to go to school. It is benefit for them to get a job to support themselves.

In conclusion, while people argue that a little actions should be taken to reduce people’s fear, i believe that might tackle the problem with policemen’ s patrol and provision of education and jobs for people in society.