Could you please give me some feedbacks about my IELTS writing task 2

Many species of plants and animals are declining in the world. Give possible reasons and offer solutions ?

It is true that a large number of plants and animals are decreasing rapidly in the world. There are various reasons for this problem, but I do believe that we could certainly take steps to address this issue.

I am convinced that such creatures above become either endangered or vulnerable mainly because of pollution. Nowadays, the demands for energy are higher than ever before, which force us to exploit more fossil fuels. For example, by overusing non-renewable energy such as coal and oil, factories tend to discharge sulfur dioxide and carbon dioxide into the atmosphere and illegally dump untreated waste into rivers and seas. As a result, both plants and animals have to suffer from air pollution and water pollution, which cause massive death when they drink contaminated water and breathe polluted air.

Thanks to the advent of technology, I strongly believe that there are two feasible ways to resolve this issue. For the temporary situation, we should erect more salaries and conservatories in order to prevent plants and animals from extinction, which is worthwhile to protect the diversity of ecological balance. In the long run, environmentalists ought to find alternative sources of renewable energy such as wind power and solar energy as they are environmentally friendly, which release fewer pollutants such as carbon dioxide or discharged waste. Therefore, we may be able to help natural habitats recover from pollution.

In conclusion, I hold a strong belief that my methods can tackle this problem effectively and even in the future when plants and animals are sent back from those protective places to their wildlife. I think they may not be threatened by pollution anymore.

Quách Kiên Trung