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Anonymous Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Could you please correct what is necessary.

Liza, I agree that Seldon’s Department Store, has put into practice some innovative creative business ideas. For example; merchandise in the boutiques is comprised of the respective fashion designers choices, and the various store buyers opinions are no longer required. That would certainly create a major revolution among our buyer’s who have always made merchandise selections.



Our store is; unfortunately, a dowdy dowager with its images luster slightly tarnished. The plan to redo our image may not be as aggressive as our British counterpart’s design; however, let’s discuss it further.
  

Top answer

Leaving the wording in place, you need to punctuate your text as follows: Liza, I agree that Seldon's Department Store has put into practice some innovative, creative business ideas. For example, merchandise in the boutiques is comprised of the respective fashion designers' choices, and the various store buyers' opinions are no longer required. That would certainly create a major revolution among our buyers who have always made merchandise selections.

  • Leaving the wording in place, you need to punctuate your text as follows: Liza, I agree that Seldon's Department Store has put into practice some innovative, creative business ideas.
  • For example, merchandise in the boutiques is comprised of the respective fashion designers' choices, and the various store buyers' opinions are no longer required.
  • That would certainly create a major revolution among our buyers who have always made merchandise selections.
  • Our store is, unfortunately, a dowdy dowager with its image's luster slightly tarnished.
  • The plan to redo our image may not be as aggressive as our British counterpart's design; however, let's discuss it further.
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1 Answers
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Leaving the wording in place, you need to punctuate your text as follows:

Liza, I agree that Seldon's Department Store has put into practice some innovative, creative business ideas. For example, merchandise in the boutiques is comprised of the respective fashion designers' choices, and the various store buyers' opinions are no longer required. That would certainly create a major

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