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Anonymous Posted 9 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Could you please correct this essay for me. Thank you so much!

Topic: Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on the society?.


In today’s modern world, science plays a pivotal role in the development of the economy. There is a real situation that the lack of students studying in science subjects becomes far more popular. This essay will scrutinize the reasons for this trend as well as the impacts on the society.

To begin with, the foremost reason for this phenomenon is that most of the well-paid jobs do not relate to science. Take the top list of the wealthiest people as an example, the vast majority of billionaires in the world stem from other fields such as banking, real estate, and internet-based businesses. Due to the meager income of the science-related jobs, a large number of students would decide to eschew science in favor of other subjects. Another impetus for this reality is the academic requirements. As a matter of fact, science subjects not only require students to have the aptitude for scientific disciplines but they also necessitate the great efforts, determination, and ambition of people who major in science. As a result, the growing trend of lesser students involved in science would be unavoidable.

In my view, this trend has had several detrimental impacts on the society. The lack of science learners would result in the insufficient high-quality scientists which are underlying contributors to the modernization process of many countries. Thus, the less leading experts in science, the fewer modern inventions are designed. One another effect of this phenomenon is that it would cause an imbalance in job market between science and other fields. For example, the redundant influx of people who choose economics instead of science would lead to an oversupply of graduates in labor market, which causes the unemployment situation of the society.

In conclusion, it is clear that there are some driving forces behind the shortage of learners in science disciplines which has had negative impacts on the development of many countries. (316 words)

  

Top answer

In today’s modern world, science plays a pivotal role in the development of the economy. There is a real situation that the lack of students studying in science subjects becomes far more popular. ) This essay will scrutinize the reasons for this trend as well as the impacts on the society.

  • In today’s modern world, science plays a pivotal role in the development of the economy.
  • There is a real situation that the lack of students studying in science subjects becomes far more popular.
  • ) This essay will scrutinize the reasons for this trend as well as the impacts on the society.
  • ) is that most of the well-paid jobs do not relate to science.
  • Take the top list of the wealthiest people as an example, (run-on sentence) the vast majority of billionaires in the world stem from other fields such as banking, real estate, and internet-based businesses.
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2 Answers
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In today’s modern world, science plays a pivotal role in the development of the economy. There is a real situation that the lack of students studying in science subjects becomes far more popular. (This sentence is unnatural.) This essay will scrutinize the reasons for this trend as well as the impacts on the society.

To begin with

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You overlooked other reasons. In some parts of the world, science teaching and curriculums are not good enough for a lot of students, before university level. This means that very few students would even have an opportunity to study science at university.

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