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Anonymous Posted 16 years ago
Letter Writing

Could you please correct the letter, if any mistakes

Dear Madam,

This is Ram from XYZ Co., we are an authorized distributors for YXZ. YXZ established in 1963 and a leading company in production of electrical materials and produces more than 12,000 articles, includes wiring devises and systems for electrical installations, suitable for both Industrial and commercial purpose.

We would request you to give us an appointment to show our samples and brief advantages of Scame products (Quality and Aesthetics). I shall call you tomorrow (23-06-10) to meet at your convenience time to have a small presentation.

We realize that you have an extremely busy schedule these days but if you could spare 15 minutes or so that would be really grateful.

Thank you for your consideration.

With Best Regards
  

Top answer

I have several suggestions as to the best way to improve this letter. The first thing to do is to move your name out of the body of the letter and put it in the close. I would also add spaces between your paragraphs.

  • I have several suggestions as to the best way to improve this letter.
  • The first thing to do is to move your name out of the body of the letter and put it in the close.
  • I would also add spaces between your paragraphs.
  • My other changes have to do with the expression of the ideas.
  • My new wording is boldfaced (including changes in capitalization); the deletions are crossed-out.
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1 Answers
0
I have several suggestions as to the best way to improve this letter. The first thing to do is to move your name out of the body of the letter and put it in the close. I would also add spaces between your paragraphs. My other changes have to do with the expression of the ideas.

My new wording is boldfaced (including changes in capitalization); the deletions are crossed-out.

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