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Huynguyen158 Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Could you please check this essay?
Hi everyone,
This is my IELTS writing. Could you please check and give me some advice to improve it? Thank you very much.
Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This they argue leads to a more satisfying working life.
To what extent do you agree with this view?
What other things can people do in order to have a satisfying working life?
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In a highly competitive today’s world, people tend to choose a fixed occupation early with the thoughts that they would have a more satisfying working life. Although this might bring several upsides, trying some other jobs before settling down would be a more reasonable choice.
People resolving on an occupation too soon might end up failing in their pursuit of happiness in work as well as having fewer opportunities to do what they really love. In fact, there is no such thing as a fixed career in a constantly changing world. Therefore, that would be a shortsighted view if people decide on a future career early and believe it could ensure a fulfilling working life in a longer term. Also, by holding such ideas, many people are willing to compromise on their passion merely because they afraid of stepping outside the comfort zone, which implies familiarity, safety and security to their lives. However, passion is one of the main factors which create satisfaction in work. If one could not enjoy what they do for a living every day, they possibly made a wrong career decision.
Besides, there are a wide range of elements that contribute to a good working life such as relative high income, promotion, autonomy, etc. This makes it difficult for every individual to decide a career direction. Therefore, people should spread their wings and embrace the variety of things on offer. By exposing to various line of work, they not only keep their lives interesting, but have a more completely insight into their career path and gain more life experiences, thereby helping them to obtain the fulfillment in work.
In conclusion, challenging on different areas of work would be a constructive alternative for achieving a pleasurable working life.
This is my IELTS writing. Could you please check and give me some advice to improve it? Thank you very much.
Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This they argue leads to a more satisfying working life.
To what extent do you agree with this view?
What other things can people do in order to have a satisfying working life?
--------------------------------------------
In a highly competitive today’s world, people tend to choose a fixed occupation early with the thoughts that they would have a more satisfying working life. Although this might bring several upsides, trying some other jobs before settling down would be a more reasonable choice.
People resolving on an occupation too soon might end up failing in their pursuit of happiness in work as well as having fewer opportunities to do what they really love. In fact, there is no such thing as a fixed career in a constantly changing world. Therefore, that would be a shortsighted view if people decide on a future career early and believe it could ensure a fulfilling working life in a longer term. Also, by holding such ideas, many people are willing to compromise on their passion merely because they afraid of stepping outside the comfort zone, which implies familiarity, safety and security to their lives. However, passion is one of the main factors which create satisfaction in work. If one could not enjoy what they do for a living every day, they possibly made a wrong career decision.
Besides, there are a wide range of elements that contribute to a good working life such as relative high income, promotion, autonomy, etc. This makes it difficult for every individual to decide a career direction. Therefore, people should spread their wings and embrace the variety of things on offer. By exposing to various line of work, they not only keep their lives interesting, but have a more completely insight into their career path and gain more life experiences, thereby helping them to obtain the fulfillment in work.
In conclusion, challenging on different areas of work would be a constructive alternative for achieving a pleasurable working life.
Top answer
In the highly competitive today’s world of today , people tend to choose a fixed occupation early with the thoug ht that they would have a more satisfying working life. Although this might bring entail some benefits, several upsides, trying some other jobs before settling down to one would be a more reasonable approach. choice.
- In the highly competitive today’s world of today , people tend to choose a fixed occupation early with the thoug ht that they would have a more satisfying working life.
- Although this might bring entail some benefits, several upsides, trying some other jobs before settling down to one would be a more reasonable approach.
- choice.
- People resolving on an occupation too soon might end up failing in their pursuit of happiness in at work as well as having fewer opportunities to do what they really love.
- In fact, there is no such thing as a fixed career in a constantly changing world.
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4 Answers
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In the highly competitive today’s world of today, people tend to choose a fixed occupation early with the thought that they would have a more satisfying working life. Although this might bring entail some benefits, several upsides, trying some other jobs before settling down to one would be a more reasonable approach.
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Thank you very much, teechr. I have a few questions about your corrections, please help me:
Upside = a part of something that is good or desirable : a
teechrAlthough this mightWhat is the difference between upside and benefit here? According to the definition from Merriam-Webster:bringentail some benefits, several upside
Upside = a part of something that is good or desirable : a
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huynguyen158What is the difference between upside and benefit here? According to the definition from Merriam-Webster:"Bring several upsides" is not natural.
huynguyen158Also, is it correct that some benefits = several benefits, because I see you use some benefits instead of several benefits?That's a good ques
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