Could you please check my writing Ielts task 2? Thank you very much.

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People have argued about how our lives have changed in recent years compared to the past. Some people think that we have become more independent in the modern world while others think that humans are more dependent on each other. In my opinion, I believe people have become more independent nowadays than ever.

Firstly, in the past, the older generation believed that it is children's responsibility to take care of them when they are old as a way to repay them. Because of that, most parents in old days were more dependent on their children. Secondly, parents used to pampered children, especially the mothers, they tend to take care of their child and help them in everything. Meanwhile, the fathers are the ones who financially support them until they graduated from university so they do not have to find a part-time job if they do not want to. Because of that, they were more dependent on their parents than children these days.

On the other hand, in today's world, almost everyone makes plans for themselves when they retire. Older people are not that dependent on their children anymore. They would save money or go to a nursing home so when they retire, they could live on their own without depending on their children. Moreover, parents nowadays are starting to teach their children how to take care of themselves at a young age. Since most of the parents are working on a 9 to 5 job, they want their children to learn how to be independent.

In conclusion, people indeed used to be dependent on each other in the past. However, these days I feel like people are not dependent that much anymore. Everybody either wants to live on their own or is trying to learn to be independent.