Could you please check my writing Ielts task 2? Thank you very much.

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

There are many different types of music in the world these days, including rock and roll, pop music, and jazz. Music is necessary for humans life because it has an influence on people’s spirit in their work and life. In my opinion, I would argue that traditional music is more important than international music.
Music is something that we all have with us throughout our lives. Firstly, it aids with stress reduction. Nowadays, the young generation may be under stress as a result of their jobs or studies. Some kinds of soothing and tranquil music might help people refresh their minds after a long day at work. The best way to relieve stress is to listen to music while exercising on a daily basis. Secondly, the melody and lyrics of inspiring songs inspire people to live better lives. "Hall of Fame" or "You raise me up", for example, encourage people that failing is a necessary part of the achievement process. You can't accomplish anything if you don't have motivation since there are no goalposts to aim for and no purpose to strive towards. In short, it is difficult to imagine life without it.
Traditional music, in my opinion, should be valued more than international music. To begin with, traditional music represents a country's traditional culture, customs, or history of a country. For example in Vietnam, Vietnamese Traditional Folk Music connects us to the past and form part of our cultural identity. By contrast, international music has become so popular because of its catchy tune and fun. However, it is mostly a commercial product advertised and sold by business people. It would be a pity if traditional were paid less attention than international music.
In conclusion, music is an essential component of human existence, and I believe that traditional music should be prioritized above international music.